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Hywel Teague
17-03-2003, 12:21 PM
yo mamas so fat, when she was diagnosed with the flesh eating virus, the doctor gave her thirteen years to live...
yo mamas so fat, when she dances she makes the band skip...
yo mamas so fat, she puts mayonaise on aspirin...
yo mamas so fat, her butt has its own congressman...
yo mamas so fat, her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard...
yo mamas so fat, when she goes to the zoo, thew elephants throw her peanuts...
yo mamas so fat, her driving license says "picture continued on the other side"...
yo mamas so fat, the back of her neck looks like a pack of hotdogs...
yo mamas so fat, all the restaurants in town have a sign that says "maximum occupancy 150 OR yo momma"
yo mamas so fat, when she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton...

Hywel Teague
17-03-2003, 10:27 PM
Yo momma's so fat, she makes Free Willy look like a tic tac

Yo momma's so fat, when we played hide and seek I spotted her behind the Himalayas

Yo momma's so fat, when she walked in front of the TV I missed 3 commercials

Yo momma's so fat, the whale from Free Willy freed her

Yo momma's so fat, the last time she saw 90210 was on the scale

Yo momma's so fat, when she steps on the scale it says one at a time please

Yo momma's so fat, when she steps on the scale it says sorry we don't do livestock

Yo momma's so fat, when she bends over we miss 2 days of sunlight

Yo momma's so fat, when she goes to a restaurant she gets an estimate

Yo momma's so fat, at a restaurant when they give her the menu she replies " yes Please"

Yo momma's so fat, when she went to the beach Greenpeace tried to drag her back in the water.

Yo momma's so fat, when she went to get a water bed, they put a blanket across Lake Michigan.

Yo momma's so fat, when she sat on a rainbow, Skittle's fell out.

Yo momma's so fat, and you're so poor, when she comes in your house the tires pop.

Yo momma's so fat, she don't know whether she's walking or rolling.

Yo momma's so fat, when she tiptoes, everyone yells "Stampede!"

Yo momma's so fat, when she farts the whole planet came out.

Yo momma's so fat, she makes sumo wrestlers look anorexic.

Yo momma's so fat, her car is made of spandex.

Yo momma's so fat, we're inside her right now.

Yo momma's so fat, she makes Big Bird look like a rubber duck.

Yo momma's so fat, one day when she got in a fight the person fighting her got lost in her.

Yo momma's so fat, when she wore a shirt with an AA on it, people thought it was American Airlines biggest jet.

Yo momma's so fat, one day she was lifting up her rolls and a car fell out.

Yo momma's so fat, Dr. Martens had to kill 3 cows just to make her a pair of shoes.

Yo momma's so fat, when she goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.

Yo momma's so fat, she can't stay on a basketball court for three seconds without getting called for a key violation.

Yo mama so fat that she climbed Mt. Fuji with one step.

Yo momma's so fat, all the chairs in her house have seatbelts.

Yo momma's so fat, she smells like bacon at 90 degrees.

Yo momma's so fat, I had to take a train and two busses just to get on her good side.

Yo momma's so fat, when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips.

Yo momma's so fat, when she hauls ass, she has friends come help.

Yo mama' so fat, she's 36-24-36... but that's her forearm, neck, and thigh!

Yo momma's so fat, they had to grease a door frame and hold a Twinkie on the other side to get her through.

Yo momma's so fat, she can lay down and stand up and her height doesn't change.

Yo momma's so fat, the horse on her Polo shirt is real.

Yo momma's so fat, when she works at the movie theatre, she works as the screen.

Yo momma's so fat, when she runs she makes the CD player skip... at the radio station.

Yo momma's so fat, her belly jiggle is the first ever perpetual motion machine.

Yo momma's so fat, instead of Levis 501 jeans, she wears Levi's 1002's.

Yo momma's so fat, instead of wide leg jeans, she wears wide load.

Yo momma's so fat, when she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down.

Yo momma's so fat, all of her clothes have to be custom made by a contractor.

Yo momma's so fat, when I said I wanted "Pigs in a blanket" she got back in bed.

Yo momma's so fat, she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth.

Yo momma's so fat, she's got smaller fat women orbiting around her.

Yo momma's so fat, a picture of her fell off the wall!

Yo momma's so fat, her picture takes two frames.

Yo momma's so fat, when I yell "Kool-Aid," she comes crashing through the wall.

Yo momma's so fat, she could sell shade.

Yo momma's so fat, when she crosses the street, cars look out for her.

Hywel Teague
17-03-2003, 10:28 PM
Yo momma's so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."

Yo momma's so ugly she looked out the window and got arrested for mooning.

Yo momma's so ugly just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."

Yo momma's so ugly they push her face into dough to make cookies.

Yo momma's so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower

Yo momma's so ugly they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars.

Yo momma's so ugly instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck

Yo momma's so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.

Yo momma's so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras

Yo momma's so ugly her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her

Yo momma's so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.

Yo momma's so ugly when she walks down the street in September, people say "Damn, is it Halloween already?"

Yo momma's so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday.

Yo momma's so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.

Yo momma's so ugly she made an onion cry.

Yo momma's so ugly when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours. . .for a quote!

Yo momma's so ugly she tried to take a bath the water jumped out!

Yo momma's so ugly even Rice Krispies won't talk to her!

Yo momma's so ugly Ted Dansen wouldn't date her!

Yo momma's so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone!

Yo momma's so ugly she turned Medusa to stone!

Yo momma's so ugly the NHL banned her for life

Yo momma's so ugly they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints

Yo momma's so ugly people go as her for Halloween.

Yo momma's so ugly that when she sits in the sand on the beach, cats try to bury her.

Yo momma's so ugly she scares the roaches away.

Yo momma's so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.

Yo momma's so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.