A LOT of people on this forum will be wanting one of these for Christmas...

[Emmet J]

http://www.noob.us/entertainment/never-get-caught-with-a-sextop-2000/

[mickclark]

Dear Santa,

Please can I have have a Sex Top 2000, I've been a very good boy and done all my jobs and chores and promise to be a nice boy for ever and ever.

I will leave you some cookies and milk out on Xmas eve.

Thank you Santa

Michael
Age 24

[Emmet J]

In all honesty I'm quite shocked nobody has actually designed something like this.

[Leesin]

http://www.mymalesexuality.com/products/images/Fleshlight.jpg

Just get one of these haha.

Probably alot harder to explain if you get caught using it though.