Last night Mrs rotten sprayed de-icer in my eyes

[jonny rotten]

I was sitting down stairs watching match of the day 2 on the telly when i heard her shuffling around outside the room, I thought she'd probably nipped down for a glass of water, when all of a sudden she burst in the room and sprayed de-icer in my face.

I said "What the fuck are you doing you mad cow!"

She said "You were watching porn you dirty bastard!"

I cried oot " Was I fuck, i was watching the footy!"

"Were you really?" She asked, "Well why have you got a hard on then?!"

I said " because we've just beaten Portsmouth 3-0!"

She was drunk and on her rags if that's any sort of excuse.

[DanCrase]

I hope you slapped her about a bit mate; teach that woman who's the boss!

[DanCrase]

Incidentally, beating Portsmouth isn't a massive achievement; I could beat Portsmouth 3-0

[Wiegieboard]

Give her a hot beef injection. Spray cum in her eyes? Then put on porn and call her the mummy whilst she's stumbling, blind, trying to find the dvd player and you.

[DanCrase]

Give her a hot beef injection. Spray cum in her eyes? Then put on porn and call her the mummy whilst she's stumbling, blind, trying to find the dvd player and you.

Dude.....that is so hot....

[ashy51]

Im sure this was a joke on a stand up thing I watched the other day.

[Agrippa]

Im sure this was a joke on a stand up thing I watched the other day.

Live at the apollo, forgot the dudes name though, think hes on mock the week

[jonny rotten]

rumbled on the joke, but she did spray de-icer in my face

[Ben_Hutch]

Live at the apollo, forgot the dudes name though, think hes on mock the week

Yeah, it was Jason Manford, funny guy.