had a bit of a fight in netto just

[Stubbsy]

Was just in netto to buy some bread and milk for my sarnies and brews tomorrow and this old bloke of about 85 comes chundling over with his trolley and runs into the back of me by the bread section. I turned round and just said summat like "oops mate be careful now" dead nicely and he just chuntered something under his breath and carried on without apologising. I felt rage hit my chest as all i wanted was an apology or for him to simply not be an ass. My face went dead red and i felt my palms go all tingly but i held my temper but shouted "excuse me mate, are you going to say sorry?" but then he went "gooooo onnnnn fuck off with ya" in a vulgar manner and waved his arms at me.

My head almost exploded but I didn't twat him. I grabbed him and threw the old cunt into a cardboard stand full of warburtons crumpets. I then started screaming at him sayin "what ya say you old bastard? What ya fuckin say?". The security obviously thought i was to blame and ran over to tackle me and not the old man (who was in the wrong), but i didn't have time to explain. I grabbed my shopping basket, swung it hard and sent it crashing into the security guard's face. He literally flew back and landed in the shelves full of bread.

I didn't hang about, I turned, booted the old man in the ribs as he lay amidst the crumpets and then legged it out the store and home. But does anyone know if they have security cameras in netto and will they try and find me and prosectute? Even though I wasn't to blame all the cctv will show is me acting violent. It wont be able to prove that the old man was rude to me and deserved it.

[Jimmy Boogaloo]

hahaha you'll probably get away with it, sounds reasonable to me.

[pedro17]

..............................

[pauljono1120]

Did you still get your bread and milk?

[Jim_Williams]

Pretty good, coulda been longer.

You should sign up to another forum where they think you are serious, sned us the links to your threads.


THAT'D BE EPIC.

[Grizzly.]

First off it seems like a very detailed story with the crumpets and all, and secondly if it did happen and they track you down then you will get prosecuted yes for assaulting a security guard, you may not have hit him but it was with intent and therefore deemed as assault, thirdly you will probably get prosecuted for assaulting the guy who you threw into the crumpets regardless of what he said that is if they find you, because the cameras dont hear what you say just whats acted upon and you grabbed him first when you asked for an apology so if they find you, your fucked. I know because I work the doors and know how it goes down. That is all.

[Rob T]

First off it seems like a very detailed story with the crumpets and all, and secondly if it did happen and they track you down then you will get prosecuted yes for assaulting a security guard, you may not have hit him but it was with intent and therefore deemed as assault, thirdly you will probably get prosecuted for assaulting the guy who you threw into the crumpets regardless of what he said that is if they find you, because the cameras dont hear what you say just whats acted upon and you grabbed him first when you asked for an apology so if they find you, your fucked. I know because I work the doors and know how it goes down. That is all.

Oh dear me.

[Stubbsy]

First off it seems like a very detailed story with the crumpets and all, and secondly if it did happen and they track you down then you will get prosecuted yes for assaulting a security guard, you may not have hit him but it was with intent and therefore deemed as assault, thirdly you will probably get prosecuted for assaulting the guy who you threw into the crumpets regardless of what he said that is if they find you, because the cameras dont hear what you say just whats acted upon and you grabbed him first when you asked for an apology so if they find you, your fucked. I know because I work the doors and know how it goes down. That is all.

Thing is I hit the security guard with a shopping basket in the face and bust his nose up. I also kicked the old man when he was on the ground which I kind of regret but i was angry at the time. Would these things be classed as assault? If they catch me i'm gonna say i panicked and lashed out as i tried to escape.

[Bateman]

Do Netto stock 'Warburtons' ?

Up market crumpet !

lol to another quality day in the life of Stubbsy

[Posidave]

Violence doesnt solve problems. It never has it never will. There's no excuse.

So instead of using your fists, try using your brain because when we fight, there are no winners.....we all lose!

You gotta stay positive.

[BlueRabbit]

That old man is lucky that you didn't have your red belt TKD mate with you.

[Grizzly.]

Regardless of whether you panic or you don't you still acted in a violent way where these cameras will deem you the instigator, i know because I said something to a guy I threw out once, I told him if he ever said anything about my family again i'd find him and tear him a new lip, he turns out later that night with 4 guys and all five of them give me a kick in, although I started it verbally it was never proved and they got prosecuted.

[C.K.A.Martial Arts]

This sounds like cow poo but hey if it is true then your toast mate - if they do have cctv then they will spread it around and every man and his cow will know who your are and drop you right in it.

if they come and get you say the old man fell and you were just helping the aged but the security guard thought you were a dodgy customer and attacked you for no reason so you jammed the basket in his face to defend your self.

[Stubbsy]

Regardless of whether you panic or you don't you still acted in a violent way where these cameras will deem you the instigator, i know because I said something to a guy I threw out once, I told him if he ever said anything about my family again i'd find him and tear him a new lip, he turns out later that night with 4 guys and all five of them give me a kick in, although I started it verbally it was never proved and they got prosecuted.

I know what you're saying. I'm really hoping that they don't have cameras in netto anyway. The only way i can be caught is if they have cctv footage and can find me and identify me. I dunno if i can try and say he instigated it by running his trolley into me?

[Stubbsy]

This sounds like cow poo but hey if it is true then your toast mate - if they do have cctv then they will spread it around and every man and his cow will know who your are and drop you right in it.

if they come and get you say the old man fell and you were just helping the aged but the security guard thought you were a dodgy customer and attacked you for no reason so you jammed the basket in his face to defend your self.

People in my area know not grass on me. I assume if they grassed me up i'd be able to find out who the grass was? I guess i'll just have to see what happens.

[Posidave]

Just tell them who you are and they'll drop all charges instantly.

[C.K.A.Martial Arts]

do what I did when I got arrested - let the police tell you what happened because they have to have the facts in full.

I got done for breaking a guys nose when I worked the door in my youth and when I was arrested the police kept saying that I had punched him but in fact I had hit with a radio ( ouch ) the cps throw the case out for lack of evidence.

Dont worry mate - netto see this kind of thing all the time.

[david5]

mods, just so you know, when you move this to general discussion, i'm just going to move it to the troll hole, so could you just move it direct there please

[StoooV2]

At the end of the day some people deserve a kicking.

Sounds as if the old fella deserved it ;)

[Jon-Leggy]

Nah i think nothing will happen of it to be honest. If it does, explain ur story. Anyway i bet it looks good on the camera haha. Carnt believe im reading this lol its fuckin class. then again booting him in the ribs is abit too far like, fair enough telling him to stop being a dick but did he deserve the kick? n seriously how old was he?

[darthcrab]

I feel for you stubbsy, you seem to get in some scrapes at no fault of your own..

chances are, there isnt many guys of your size around where you live. so they may know who you are anyway, if not, lets hope people are scared to come forward and say who you are

[Stubbsy]

I might go on an anger management course. I don't know why i feel so angry all the time. and paranoid too. I fell out with my mrs the other night cos she was late home from work and i made her whip her pants off while i smelled her fanny for traces of spunk.

I feel really down about it and think i need help. i'm really worried about this guys.

[Hammer]

Your main problem could be with `Warburton's ` they spend a lot of money on advertising, big image issues here, Warbuton's crumpets damaged and defaced, who knows what was hanging off that old guys arris when he sat on the crumpets. I still prefer the story of ``Snow White and the Seven Migits ``......

[Plastikman]

I love crumpets.

[Plastikman]

You should sign up to another forum where they think you are serious, sned us the links to your threads.


THAT'D BE EPIC.

No need, read on in this thread. Plenty morons on here too.

[phil flynn]

stubbsy mate,any chance i can lend a pint of milk mate,not going down netto if that's how oap's act,it's pension day round here today!!!!

[powerhouse]

Not one of you guys or girls have commented on the old fella's age.
85 year old mate, you should be ashamed!!

S.

[phil flynn]

well he should know better at 85 starting fights in neto,and against stubbsy,what was he thnking????

[phil flynn]

for the record,if this turns out to be real for once and if i see this on the news i will piss myself,quite literally!!!!

[pauljono1120]

AHh that is a good point by leggy, he was old enough for a bit of g n p .

kick to the rib wasnt enough IMO. your gonna get caught anyways, so mayb you should go back and show the guard also what your made off.

And dont forget your red belt.

[Stubbsy]

if the old man dies would it be murder or mansluaghter?

[Luke]

I prefer Tescos. Netto is a bit tacky IMO

[Hammer]

Netto is full of old people most of the time, the `Warburton's ` crumpets are a once a week delivery, got to get your priorities in order.

[Stubbsy]

I prefer Tescos. Netto is a bit tacky IMO

i can't afford tesco

[Luke]

I might go on an anger management course. I don't know why i feel so angry all the time. and paranoid too. I fell out with my mrs the other night cos she was late home from work and i made her whip her pants off while i smelled her fanny for traces of spunk.

I feel really down about it and think i need help. i'm really worried about this guys.

This made me lol! :D

[Jimmy Boogaloo]

if the old man dies would it be murder or mansluaghter?

affray at most - he started it!

[Rob T]

You could take off and nuke the Netto site from orbit.

It's the only way to be sure.

[Dave78]

i hope you've learnt from this situation Stubbsy?!

.............things like............

never leave witnesses, dont spend all your money on stezzers and you'll be able to afford to shop elsewhere and most importantly....never, never use UFC to beat people up in public even if you do train it!

[TheUnfitOne]

What's Netto, is it a Northern thing ?

[Dave78]

^^^^
its like EVEN pikeyer than Lidl's Gary lol (and no, sadly we are afflicted with them daaarn saaf too :()

[Stubbsy]

i bet all you belle ends snobs shop at sainsbury's and buy the exact same stuf i buy from netto only for much more money.

[TheUnfitOne]

Tescos FTW

[Luke]

What's Netto, is it a Northern thing ?

Netto's a supermarket. We have one here.

lol at this being put in pro MMA yet this thread has nothing to do with MMA. I guess we should just change this forum to The Stubbsy Trollings Forum.

[Stubbsy]

i'm not trolling. Stop complaining Luke, I don't run amok on this forum. stop making out i'm causing aggro.

[pedro17]

affray at most - he started it!

cant be affray as it wasnt witnessed, unless on cctv if he dies will be minimal manslaughter

[pedro17]

lol...type "fight netto" into google and this thread is number 3

[Stubbsy]

lol...type "fight netto" into google and this thread is number 3

do you think the police will look for it that way? If the five o contact this forum mods don't give them my details. thanks

[adam woolmer]

This made me lol! :D

me to i pissed myself

[i am evil homer]

classic!

you cant beat a good stubbsy story

[i am evil homer]

"gooooo onnnnn fuck off with ya"


cant stop laughing at that bit

[doncmma]

if the old man dies would it be murder or mansluaghter?

murder fool lol

[i am evil homer]

I might go on an anger management course. I don't know why i feel so angry all the time. and paranoid too. I fell out with my mrs the other night cos she was late home from work and i made her whip her pants off while i smelled her fanny for traces of spunk.

I feel really down about it and think i need help. i'm really worried about this guys.

LOL , LAUGHING SO MUCH MY RIBBS HURT

[doncmma]

netto cant afford cctv

[Wiegieboard]

cool story bro!

[CraigSt.Clair]

I might go on an anger management course. I don't know why i feel so angry all the time. and paranoid too. I fell out with my mrs the other night cos she was late home from work and i made her whip her pants off while i smelled her fanny for traces of spunk.

I feel really down about it and think i need help. i'm really worried about this guys.

Mate I'd keep off the stezzers like, imagine this shit with Roid Rage, it would be MURDER lol.

Stubbsy I have missed these stories, quality mate

[CraigSt.Clair]

Oh and feel free to move to the troll hole, Stubbsy is more than welcome there :D

[Stubbsy]

Pretty good, coulda been longer.

You should sign up to another forum where they think you are serious, sned us the links to your threads.


THAT'D BE EPIC.

http://community.videogamer.com/forums/general_discussion/had_a_bit_of_a_fight_in_netto_today/

[Jim_Williams]

Haha, brilliant.

Saved to favourites :)

[pauljono1120]

OMG HAHAHAHAH THIS IS SO GOOD.

*Grabs cup of tea*

[Jim_Williams]

Jono, you should troll some other sites as well.

[pauljono1120]

I might paste this onto "hamster central"

[CraigSt.Clair]

http://i968.photobucket.com/albums/ae164/AznHook/popcornj.gif

[pauljono1120]

http://www.hamstercentral.com/community/miscellaneous-chat/7252-ok-so.html#post72591

[CraigSt.Clair]

I refer to my post above lol

[Stubbsy]

http://www.hamstercentral.com/community/miscellaneous-chat/7252-ok-so.html#post72591

you posted tit with the same username in the next post.

[pauljono1120]

I posted TTT, coz it wasnt appearing at the top of the board but now it is.

[Stubbsy]

Some guy on the video game forum has just called me "a danger to other shoppers" and thinks steroids are bad for you.

[pauljono1120]

Lmfao!

I got this:

"Seems a bit odd to be posting this on here - lots of obscene language, a bit much for some. Why would you ask this on a Hamster forum? "

[Stubbsy]

Poor Hamster enthusiasts having to read about an old man getting battered and a security guard getting his face caved in with a shopping basket when all they wanted was to read about how fluffy someone's new hamsters are.

[CraigSt.Clair]

Bit much for a hamster forum LMAO

[oebs1]

hahahah fucking hell, a hamster forum!!!!!!

[pauljono1120]

rofl!

It's the only place i could think of that people will belive it. :(

[Jim_Williams]

I think we're all overlooking that Paul has been a member of a hamster forum for 4 months!!!


You gay boy :D

[pauljono1120]

Lmfao!

I joined to umm... troll!

I promise! :D

[Jim_Williams]

Only other forum Im a member on is the Liverpool fc forum, they would probably delete it.

Might sign up for some random forum just to troll though:)

[pauljono1120]

Come join me on hamster central, maybe start off you buy a new pet hamstorrr.

then troll the shit out of them.

[pauljono1120]

Gah the cunts removed my post.

Must of been a bit to violent for the hamster lovers.

[Jim_Williams]

"Briggsy" is just about to inform the nice users of Catforum.com of my exploits.

I'm not gonna totally steal stubbsy' epicness, might just make one up.

Maybe how I accidently killed my cat :D

[pauljono1120]

Lmao.

I might make up a troll for the hamster forum, about how I took my hamster on a long walk through the snow, then went sledging.

[CraigSt.Clair]

Oh dear god lol.

All links are welcome in the Troll Hole :D

[Jim_Williams]

http://www.catforum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=64659

[Grake]

http://community.videogamer.com/forums/general_discussion/had_a_bit_of_a_fight_in_netto_today/


very funny shit,... well done man

[CraigSt.Clair]

THAT is BRILLIANT

LMFAO me and my dad are in stiches

[oebs1]

hahah i need a new cat, a.sap

[Grake]

The reason I feel this is fiction, the post-er called his cat "he" and clearly the cat in the photo is a Tortie/Calico, which in all probability, is FEMALE and not a "he". In addition to gender, the names of the cat in the story and the cat in the photo don't match.


schoolboy error dude :D

everyone knows Tortie/Calico's are girls

[CraigSt.Clair]

schoolboy error dude :D

everyone knows Tortie/Calico's are girls

Dude that is schoolboy like :p

[kickboxingidiot1]

Do Netto stock 'Warburtons' ?

Up market crumpet !

lol to another quality day in the life of Stubbsy

Netto DO stock Warburtons :D

[mickey bow]

Can't believe u wrecked all those crumpets m8 what the fuck!!!

[Chippa.]

The old man may not have been able to hear you mate.

[Stubbsy]

why is this in the troll hole?

[Jim_Williams]

I got permanantley banned before I could view any posts :(

Was there any good ones?

[Wendle]

Netto DO stock Warburtons :D

Fuck the Warburtons argument, has no one wondered why Netto would bother having security guards or CCTV??

The most expensive item in there is 17p and the whole stores stockholding is probably worth just over £14.

[pauljono1120]

Actually..

I was in netto the other day and they had a security guard!

[Wendle]

Rumours of Warburtons & security guards, when did these go upmarket? You'll be saying they sell R Whites lemonade next.

[pauljono1120]

Ahh prices are rising man! tin of beans is atleast 30p now.

[Wendle]

Ahh prices are rising man! tin of beans is atleast 30p now.

I think you'll find that's for the crate of 24 tins surely?

[pauljono1120]

Ahh maybe....

[Luke]

I actually re-posted this on another forum I go on. However I changed Netto to Tesco and 'bread n butter' to 'Lamb and onions' which is more suitable to me.

Current replies:

'You are a hard case and no mistake.'

'Even if the guy was rude to you he sounds like a pensioner and I don't have much respect for people who go around throwing old people into things. Sorry'

'Some old cunt tried to start a fight with me at work once. He was drunk, a head shorter than me, out of shape and at least 30 years older. It wouldn't have been a fair fight so I walked away, but he kept trying to follow me around the pub.'

'This post is amazing. You go, dude. Pensioners get it too good as it is. \m/'

'Davos, you are a cunt.'

'Generally not keen on olds getting kicked about, but there is a specific type of old person that's maybe one step up from those pre-teen cunts who think they can do and say anything because it's their mums who'll get in trouble.'

[Basilisk]

That sounds like an awesome forum.

[Luke]

I just done the fanny sniffing comment and got this back:

'Are you a mafia don? If so, you're allowed to treat your Missus in such a manner. Hell, it's expected of you'

lol!

[Luke]

I posted another post:

'I know you guys are on my side and this is great, but I'm still worried as fuck TBH. I'm really hoping that they don't have cameras in Tesco anyway. The only way i can be caught is if they have cctv footage and can find me and identify me. I dunno if i can try and say he instigated it by running his trolley into me?

Relpy:

'Um, seriously, I don't think anyone here is on yr side. You sound fucking insane. You knocked an old man to the ground for NO JUST reason & kicked him in the ribs? Of course they have CCTV, & I hope they find you, you maniac'

Stubbsy, some people hope you will be found 'you maniac', but there's always people on your side (...and prepared to do character witnesses for you in court). I'll stick up for ya mate, lol!

[Luke]

Another reply:

'Tesco will of course have CCTV. And a cage fighter attacks an 85 year old man, assaults a security guard and then kicks the pensioner when he's down? You might as well turn yourself in before the entire board does. You've confessed to it online apart from anything else.

Norfolk = inbred idiots. Way to go breaking stereotypes'

WTF!

First of all, I never claimed I was a cagefighter. 2nd, this was an encounter by Stubbsy, not me and to place the blame the whole thing on the county of Norfolk is a bit unfair IMO.

[Stubbsy]

Lol I posted it on a few other forums and got insta-banned.

[darthcrab]

I think this is best place to get advice

http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100109133257AA4lhb1

[WARRINGTONCAGERAGER]

LMAO .....you got any beers Gazza?....,stupid question