North Dorset under-9's Vale Tudo - is your son competing? [Archive]

Jimmy Boogaloo

21-09-2011, 10:52 PM

it's that time of year again lads, bare-knuckle fighting as God intended and the young lads are ready to go for the North Dorset Under-9's Vale Tudo invitational tournament.

i don't know the full line up so i was just wondering if your son is competing this year?

my lad Troy blew out his ACL in a hard spar the other day so he's looking doubtful for November, but they heal quick these youngsters.

Rob T

21-09-2011, 10:54 PM

What's the minimum age again? My son is 10 months but he is big for his age and has a killer bite.

Jimmy Boogaloo

21-09-2011, 11:00 PM

well, you're never too young to attack another child in a cage, but i'd worry about the reach advantage.

Luke

21-09-2011, 11:05 PM

This is horrifying, some people are absolutely barbaric.

HomerPlata

22-09-2011, 12:59 AM

I was wondering, is it too early for a foetus to have sports psychology CDs pumped into its ears whilst still in the womb? Y'know, coz I want my little nipper to have conquered any fears before he sets foot in the world, and I'm looking to match him up right now. PM me.

the mid 90's

22-09-2011, 01:18 AM

I don't have a kid, but I'm only 5'8" and I've always wanted to know how many 8 year olds I could take on at once, I've got around the 50 mark in mind before i gas out.

Any one interested in signing their kids up for this fight?

HomerPlata

22-09-2011, 01:27 AM

TheUnfitOne

22-09-2011, 07:43 AM

My 5y/o lad Sam was due to be taking part but he split his brow headbutting a downed opponent a fortnight ago at the UKFC South East regional qualifiers, he's got 8 x stitches but I might put him in anyway, what's the worst that could happen ? (other than permanent facial disfigurement)

HomerPlata

22-09-2011, 08:11 AM

My friend's 2 year old girl is fighting in next month's 4-in-a-cage deathmatch in Wigan, and he was asking me whether your put your own glass on the knuckles in the dressing room, or does the cageside official do that for you? He said she's more nervous about the moat filled with snakes around the cage than the actual deathmatch. Awwww, bless.

Daniel Churnside

22-09-2011, 08:39 AM

Guys is there anywhere i can enter my 5 year old daughter into a safe grappling match in a safe environment? all the above seems a little bit extreme for me at the moment i think i'll give her a few more years before stepping it up to that

cheers

Bateman

22-09-2011, 09:22 AM

my mates son is quite big for his age , he is 9 years old and weighs 62 kilos , not sure why this is. Any chance I can enter him, he has issues with anger and has a penchant for ring girls... let me know

Jimmy Boogaloo

22-09-2011, 09:30 AM

i think the cut off point is 15 stone, so he should be ok. might as well run him a quick cycle if he's only 62kg

sol_dave

22-09-2011, 09:39 AM

Im looking for a matchup for little Dane 23kg 2-0-0, interested in mma or uk1 with the little gloves. He trains at Blackhouse Daycare centre in Stoke. Elbows are one of his biggest weapons so id rather fight with elbows allowed on the ground

Evzy

22-09-2011, 09:44 AM

My daughter has been out in brazil training with Blackhouse, she is 3 1/2 now and around 2 1/2 stone, rocking a record of 11-0-17 (the NC's are because she usually fights boys and kicks them in the nuts). She has been rolling with Cyborg and taps her regularly, I was hoping to match her up against some quality like Johnyboys lad but notice he has been quiet on this thread so far. She is willing to fight all comers, usual purse - 1 barbie doll and some jelly tots.

ShaolinSubz02

22-09-2011, 10:27 AM

My son is good to go for this, he just won a leg locking contest by four popped knees and one snapped tibia to one. But please can I ask about whether any refreshments will be supplied? Its just last weekend at the South London under 9s Pit Fighter event 'Underage Bloodbath Carnage UK' where my son won a GP by both rolling knee bar and in the finals - rear naked mutilation, the organiser did not come through on their promise of fanta, wagon wheels and haribo, instead we had to content with some cheap supermarket clones. Quite frankly I was disgusted, my son did not snap that girls knee to be treated like a second rate Stacey Soloman

Evzy

22-09-2011, 10:59 AM

the organiser did not come through on their promise of fanta, wagon wheels and haribo, instead we had to content with some cheap supermarket clones.

Was that another of Homer's shoddy promotions? Though in fairness I must not* admit to having been part of the heist that swipped his Haribo pre tourney, my daughter needed the extra sugar for her 12 Man/girl Hell in a Cell Bats n Knives deathmatch, she gets cranky if she has to kill with a low blood sugar level to be honest...

*For the purpose of legal stuff

TheUnfitOne

22-09-2011, 11:10 AM

Apparently UKFC are starting to test the kids for juicing, a recent unnamed competitor was found to have dangerously high levels of Fruit-Shoot in their system.

Governing body anyone ?

Evzy

22-09-2011, 11:13 AM

My daughter refuses to be tested by a governing body...It has nothing to do with that fight she had in Brazil where they accused me of shaving a pitbull and putting it in a dress.

scotty_82

22-09-2011, 01:26 PM

I take it weight cutting is totally the norm for the young ones.

HomerPlata

22-09-2011, 01:28 PM

Funniest thread I've read in a while :D

ShaolinSubz02

22-09-2011, 01:38 PM

Its so hit and miss with the testing. My son competed in Russia at the M-2 World Sambo 'Limb from Limb' event last year and there was no testing what-so-ever. He was matched against a much larger boy who clearly was demonstrating signs of hyper-excitement, he also had sugar visibly smeared across his mouth, was salivating AND had red calippo stains all over his hands - I was worried the extra grip from the calippo juuice might have given him the edge during the bout but half way through he seemed to lose interest and become slightly sleepy and depressed, thats when my son tagged him with a flying knee

Evzy

22-09-2011, 01:41 PM

If its this lad here, I had the same trouble whilst my daughter fought him in a Russian exhibition match of Russia v Wales, I had reservations he was on the calippo's at the time but couldn't prove anything other than he looked a bit big for a 8 year old...

http://images.wikia.com/rocky/images/7/73/Ivan_Drago_2.jpg

Luckily she opened up a cut on him that bled calippo red and she finished him with a one inch death punch shortly after, then revived him with it being an exhibition n all that.

Femme-ma

22-09-2011, 04:15 PM

I'd like to enter my eldest but I'm having difficulty finding matches for him. He's 3.5 but has been fighting in the ring since 3 weeks past conception. Other kids keep ducking him.

Evzy

22-09-2011, 04:19 PM

ShaolinSubz02

22-09-2011, 06:12 PM

Whats his record currently? I might have a tasty 2 year old willing to take him on who speciality is a flying dummy snatch - but they still wear a rash nappy guard, not sure if that would be a problem?

Oh I just got this - totally read it as something else and spat tea all over the keyboard lol

boxingbrit

22-09-2011, 06:18 PM

Is this show doing steroid testing?

bjjguy123

22-09-2011, 06:39 PM

Hypothetically speaking, if one's daughter previously tested positive for a low-grade beaver tranquilizer, would she still be allowed to compete?

You know, hypothetically speaking of course.

boxingbrit

22-09-2011, 06:41 PM

My mates son has been doing a bit of gear and HGH, dont want him getting in trouble with the GB

Jimmy Boogaloo

22-09-2011, 07:16 PM

^ it's ok, i think they are more concerned about people smuggling weapons into the cage after last year's debacle. what a mess, that was horrible.

Will Samuelson

22-09-2011, 09:53 PM

I know a little Latvian kid - hes the son of my housemate and he's a screaming little whinger. He looks like the young kid at the beginnning of 300 and he turned out to be quite strong in real life when I tried to snatch him and put him in my car. He was lying on his back and did an upkick. Rather than carry on with the kidnap - I chose to test his skills and he has raw ability. He went for an ankle pick so I backhanded him into unconciousness. I was about to tape his mouth and wrists when I saw the brutal cage fight on dailymail - then the dollar signs rolled in front of my eyes. I gave him sniffing salts. Now that he's recovered; I'm going to train him up old school style. Get him punching a pig carcass in a freezer and practice his takedowns on a bag of spuds.

Mike Persil

23-09-2011, 10:19 AM

We have a 2 year old at our Gym and he is BJJ brown belt. Oh sorry its a brown nappy I mean.

ShaolinSubz02

23-09-2011, 10:32 AM

We have a 2 year old at our Gym and he is BJJ brown belt. Oh sorry its a brown nappy I mean.

If he is old enough to soil himself he is certainly old enough to fight no holds barred - look at TIm Silvia

purist

23-09-2011, 10:36 AM

Been training my 2y/o hard for this. He's been wearing his Anderson Silva t-shirt 3 times a day/6 days a week and I've been slipping Red Bull into his juice for the last 8 weeks, so cardio shouldn't be an issue.

Just need to get his sponsor's logos ironed onto his nappy and we're good to go!

Rob T

23-09-2011, 12:03 PM

I take it weight cutting is totally the norm for the young ones.

Yes mate. My boy did a 7.5kg weight cut in the sauna... half his weight. He bloody cried the whole time in there though.

HomerPlata

23-09-2011, 01:23 PM

Hypothetically speaking, if one's daughter previously tested positive for a low-grade beaver tranquilizer, would she still be allowed to compete?

You know, hypothetically speaking of course.

From one of the best comedies ever there :D

Jimmy Boogaloo

23-09-2011, 02:19 PM

didn't catch that reference, where's it from?

RGS1

23-09-2011, 02:26 PM

Was going to enter my kid in this, but want him to get a good solid record against some Lithuanian toddlers first.

Will Samuelson

23-09-2011, 08:22 PM

Was going to enter my kid in this, but want him to get a good solid record against some Lithuanian toddlers first.

This is fighting talk sunshine. I also have a pudgy 6 year old Indian lad. Didn't know his name so branded him Mowgli. When I say branded him - I mean, actually branded him.
Anyway; he won't stop crying but he looks like a younger version of Teila Tuli (ala "hawaii floats a little lighter tonight" UFC TT).
Caught him rummaging in my food recycling bin - couldn't see his parents so.., in the car he went!

Latvian 300 type kid, or Indian Teila Tuli type kid. Offers in Jelly beans and pokemon cards accepted.

HomerPlata

23-09-2011, 08:53 PM

didn't catch that reference, where's it from?

Dodgeball!

Sledge

24-09-2011, 11:40 AM

My kid will fuck all your kids up.

Evzy

24-09-2011, 11:50 AM

Sledge we require further stats....how do we know that you haven't just shaved a dwarf and stuck a power rangers t-shirt on them?

Jimmy Boogaloo

25-09-2011, 07:46 PM

Dodgeball!

oh shit, i should have known that. gonna rewatch BRB

Bateman

26-09-2011, 09:35 AM

Can my mate count street fights and playground scuffles on his lads fight record ?

Evzy

26-09-2011, 09:50 AM

Can my mate count street fights and playground scuffles on his lads fight record ?

Only if he was either a) tested pre or post fight b) there was an independent ref present - not one of either parties bezzie mates or c) the fight had a definitive ending and wasn't broken up by a teacher - those are classed as NC's.

Joe C87

28-09-2011, 10:48 AM

My little bro turns one today, he's only been rolling in gi events so far, but after crushing another toddlers windpipe last week with a gogoplata I feel he's ready to move on to bigger things, will fight for milky way magic stars and or ring girls.