I went to get on the bus this morning and the Paki bus driver said "I'm jampacked full" I said "I couldn't give a fuck what your name is, I just want to get on!"
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I went to get on the bus this morning and the Paki bus driver said "I'm jampacked full" I said "I couldn't give a fuck what your name is, I just want to get on!"
^^^ IGNORE THIS TROLL ^^^
A man is driving his five year old son to a friends house when another car cuts in front and speeds off almost causing a serious accident.
"Douche bag", yells the father.
A minute later he realises his indescretion and pulls over and turns to face his son.
"Your daddy just said a bad word" he says, "I was angry at that driver but that was no excuse for what I said. It was wrong but saying that does not make things right. I dont ever want to hear you saying that, Is that clear?"
His son looks at him and says "Too late douche bag"
What's white, red and screams like a bitch?
A peeled baby in a bag of salt (OOOOOoooohhh)
2 muslims in a vauxhall zafira have driven off a cliff in Wales. Officers at the scene said its an appalling tragedy, as this car was capable of seating 7.
Geeky jokes eh.....Quote:
Originally Posted by Zanmato
Helium walks into a bar and orders a drink.
The bartender says "We don't serve noble gases here."
Helium doesn't react
haha love it
A neutron walks into a bar and asks:
“Hey, how much for a beer?”
The bartender says, “For you, no charge.”
we better stop before wedgies are administered
Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. It's a hardware problem
There are only 10 kinds of people in the world:
Those who know binary
And those who don't
Dave Gahan from Depeche Mode came up to me the other day and gave me some Brie, some Edam and a bit of Cheddar and told me not to share them with anyone. "Why not?", I asked. "Because," said Dave "they're your own personal cheeses".
Why is constipation like maths? Sometimes you have to work it out with a pencil.
What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr Dre.
Why does Snoop carry an umbrella? Fo' Drizzle.
Jonathan Ross has been arrested for stealing cutlery from a London branch of M&S. When interviewed by the arresting officer, Ross said "It was a whisk I was prepared to take".
I went to the zoo the other day and all they had was a small dog. It was a shihtzu.
Ian Paisley is walking down the street in Belfast holding a bike over his head. He says: "i'm holding a raleigh"
What do you get if you drop a grand piano down a mineshaft? A flat minor.
Who is the coolest guy in the hospital? The ultra-sound guy
Who is the coolest guy when he is away? The replacement hip guy
LMFAO...........Quote:
Originally Posted by Stu