There's loads but a some stick in my mind;
1) About a year ago I knocked back a little Irish lad for being too pissed and he proceeded to go off on one so I politely escorted him out of the queue and further down the street where there were less people (thus quieter) to explain why he couldnt come in as he wasnt having it when I was explaining at the door.
He proceeded to hurl a few racist jibes and threatened to have me "blown up by the IRA" to which I went stone faced and told him to fuck off. He took a step closer with his arms out so I went to knee him in the balls, missed and kneed him in the stomach instead (dont ask how I missed). He backpeddalled, carried on mouthing off about how he knew the IRA and how he had connections etc etc etc
I saw him 2 weeks later... as he showed me to my seat in Nandos.
2) Similar to the first except it was a friend of mine. He knocked back a lad who started mouthing off about how he was a gunman and he'd get shot after work etc They met again during the day as he served my mate at a McDonalds Drive Thru.
3) Last weekend me and Dave Garvey were working and to amuse ourselves we started pretending to be Polish by putting on accents to the amusement of the flyerers outside. It worked particularly well since we pretended not to understand most of the things people were saying to us and would occasionally look at each other with confused faces followed by pretend-mock Polish speak to where we'd then nod at each other then smile at the customers... anyway...
This girl who had been in earlier (which made it even funnier as we'd already spoken to her in our normal Manc accents) asked if she could leave to go to the cash machine - "Yesh, isss not problem". Upon her return;
Garvey: "You look like my wife, scrong, shoulders are beeg, my wife work good on farrm. Have you got the pass?"
Girl: "My passport? You've already seen it... *takes out her passport and hands it over*"
Garvey: "Ah, goot. I copyyy? *makes scanning motion over the passport*
Girl: [drunk and not taking in what's going on] "Yeah whatever..."
Garvey walks inside, appears again 2 minutes later with a big grin on his face
Garvey: "Thank, my wife ees happy now. She come over now."
Girl's Mate: "He's just copied your passport!"
Girl: "What?! Where's my passport? Give it here!"
Garvey: "No I make copyyy. You say yes. I make copyyy. My wife now come over and happy."
Girl's Mate: "He's just copied your passport to bring his wife over!"
Girl: "I'm calling the police...".
She did indeed call the police. As everybody laughed at her and her mate's stupidity.
Now now Ross, play nicely.
Originally Posted by Ross
Did you enjoy your side of spit at Nandos?
Remember seeing a guy who was that bladdered he walked into a mirrored wal thinking it was another room, but when he got up started argueing with his image to get out of the way. Couldnt throw him out for laughing.
The other night we were checking ID's at the front door, we were checking a group of about 6 lads who were trying to blag getting in without ID, we knocked them all back but one stayed in the doorway. he waited for a few people to pass him and then just tried to walk in.
"i still need to see you ID mate, or you can't come in" my co-worker replied.
"you dont need to see my ID" said the chancer, and wavied his hand in front of him like a jedi.
At this point my co-worker looked around bemused at us, presumably checking to see if he was still speaking english and then said:
"err....no i really am going to need to see your ID before you can come in."
and the little chancer tried it again, in his best imitation of obi-wan kenobi "you dont need to see my ID" (Jedi hand wave)
We were all pissing ourselves laughing at this, and i personally would have loved to let him in for his novel "these are not the droids you're looking for" tactics. but alas it was not to be.
That didnt happen.
Originally Posted by TheJuice
I kept an eye on him.
LOL! Some great ones here - nice one Xanthic and blackdogma LOL!
I worked the door at the barfly in Glasgow for almost 3 years, never got in any fights or shagged anyone in the toilets. I think I was doing it wrong.
Anyway, Mark Owen of Take That fame was playing a gig there, his tour manager and our manager pulled the 5 guys that were on that night together before doors opened and told us that there's be a guy there who was Marks stalker. He's be dressed exactly like him, same hair cut etc. We were told to let him in but keep an eye on him.
Sure enough the wee guy rocked up, dressed like Mark Owen and camp as Christmas, we let him but kept an eye on him as instructed. Just before he was due to go on the tour manager came up to me and told me to get the guy out as he was freaking Mark out but to do it quietly.
I took the guy aside into the wee back corridor and gave him the speech, "My management have asked me to ask you to leave the premises. As such can you make your way outside, I'll tale you via the cloakroom and if you wish to seek a refund for tonight or make a complaint I can give you the adress of the venue please write to the manager or call on the number provided." All very professional and I was happy with myself. He looked confused so I repeated the speech.
He looked at me and asked "Why does Mark hate me?" then burst into floods of tears. I didn't know how to react so repeated the speech, he just kept crying and asking to speak to Mark, I said sorry mate can't do that and then repeated the speech I'd worked out. I was getting good at it. 5-10 minutes it went on like this which is a fucking long time to be stuck with a crying Mark Owen stalking weirdo. Then he got his coat and left.
Strange shift that was.
OK, I am not a doorman - far from it. but I got roped into working a door of a African music gig on the broadwater farm estate in Tottenham. NEVER AGAIN. My only saving grace is that a HUGE Congolese guy I was working with was a ex heavyweight champ of congo and when/if it kicked off he had my back. I literally had to stand on a door with a sea of people demanding free entry LOL
when i did the security at cowes week a good many years ago we found a drunk middle aged woman riding a dude on a chair at the back of one of the big beer tents. We explained they needed to exit the tent as it was about to close up and could exit via the rear entrance (lol) if they liked. She claimed that she wasnt moving and there was nothing we could do.
The guy that was running the security told me to grab the back of the chair and he grabbed the legs and we lifted them up and put them back out the 'front' of the tent in view of the public. we them left them to carry on and shut the tent up...
I'm a firm believer in if you have to fight - fight. But 99% of situations can be talked down as long as you dont patronise people.
Originally Posted by Allan Shrek
This has happened on countless occasions.
Originally Posted by ShaolinSubz02
I headed the door on this years Moss Side Carnival Afterparty. It was an over 25s event but I'd rather have worked the all ages one. The amount of shit you get off the olders is ridiculous.
There was an older (around 60), bigger guy attending (who shall remain unnamed) who rocked up in a brown pinstripe suit, dripping with gold, complete with a cane. Really nice guy but everyone knew who he was and what he was about. Proper old school. As soon as he walked through the door he was telling us if there were any problems, to come to him as he was also co-running the night. We shall call him Mark.
The best one that night was when some skinny crackhead looking, TN Air wearing dodgy 40 odd year old was trying to push past:
Me: "Are you one of the promoters?"
Me: "So who are you?"
Skinny: "Who am I? Who am I?! Bro, I'm a BADMAN."
Me: "OK then. *I look over to the aforementioned older gent* Mark! Is this guy with you...?"
Mark looks over to skinny crackhead and just stone faces him and shakes his head
Skinny: "Lieutenant! Come on Lieutenant!"
The way he got walled was mad. Just mad. Just a simple head shake and the guy dropped it and walked away from us to speak to his 'lieutenant'.