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  1. Replies
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    Try this puzzle This maths sequence can predict...

    Try this puzzle
    This maths sequence can predict your favorite film...mine was jaws. Not sure how
    it works but it does!!

    Try it, it works

    Pick a number between 1-9

    Multiply by 3
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    I phoned the police the other day. ''Whats your...

    I phoned the police the other day. ''Whats your emergency?'' they asked. I said
    ''There's 2 girls fighting over me!'' ''Ok'' she paused, ''Whats the problem?''
    ''The fat one's winning!!''
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    Paul McCartney is already upset with his new...

    Paul McCartney is already upset with his new wife, apparently she is spending twice as much on shoes as the last one.
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    Thanks for the heads up

    Thanks for the heads up
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    What do we want?" "A cure for Tourettes" ...

    What do we want?"

    "A cure for Tourettes"

    "When do we want it?"

    "Cunt!"
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    I was driving past a field today when I saw a...

    I was driving past a field today when I saw a scarecrow trying to have a wank!!!
    - I thought to myself 'That poor bastards just clutching at straws'!
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    Just seen a 80's soul singer with a T.V. under...

    Just seen a 80's soul singer with a T.V. under his arm......must be Looter
    Vandross.
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    Paddy bursts into the Benefits office. I've been...

    Paddy bursts into the Benefits office. I've been ringing 08001730 for 2 bloody
    days. Why don't you answer the bloody phone. Girl replies, those are our opening
    times you daft twat
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    A man goes to visit his father who moved into a...

    A man goes to visit his father who moved into a Care home. ''How are you finding
    it dad?''
    ''Wonderful son! The nurse was giving me a bed bath when I got an erection! She
    saw it, jumped on the...
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    post mortem on Eddie Stobart confirmed he was HGV...

    post mortem on Eddie Stobart confirmed he was HGV positive.
  11. Replies
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    Following the tragic death of Eddie Stobart at...

    Following the tragic death of Eddie Stobart at the age of 56. Producers are to
    release a film of his rags to riches life. Be sure to look out for the
    trailer.....
  12. Replies
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    My wife said to me "Let's go out tonight, get...

    My wife said to me "Let's go out tonight, get really pissed then have a good
    shag". I replied "sounds like a great idea, if you get home before me leave the
    key under the wheelie bin"
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    Tottenham have just announced plans to build a...

    Tottenham have just announced plans to build a 90,000 seater stadium to rival
    that of Barcelona's

    It will be called the Jew Camp.
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    The wife phoned me and said, "You better come to...

    The wife phoned me and said, "You better come to the hospital. My mother hasn't
    got long to live!"
    I replied "But Chelsea are playing Man Utd."

    She said "Record it and watch it later."

    You...
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    I think I was out of order last night. I gave the...

    I think I was out of order last night. I gave the wife a slap cos my dinner was
    cold and tasteless. On reflection, it was probably the restaurant's fault
  16. Replies
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    Match fixing in cricket is getting ridiculous,...

    Match fixing in cricket is getting ridiculous, now one of the England cricketers
    has announced that he bats for the other side.
  17. Replies
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    new craze girls are putting vodka jellies up...

    new craze girls are putting vodka jellies up there cunts and having blokes suck
    it out with straws. police are now worried about the effects of minge drinking
  18. Replies
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    Paddys wife comes home from work, all her sex...

    Paddys wife comes home from work, all her sex toys are nailed to the wall in a
    line, she screams 'you fucking dozy bastard, i wanted a dado rail!'
  19. Football team scores against itself to win a...

    Football team scores against itself to win a game. http://www.worldcupblog.org/world-football/when-barbados-scored-an-own-goal-to-win-a-game-2-0-no-seriously.html
  20. Replies
    749
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    Murphys in the bathroom & Mick shouts 2 him "did...

    Murphys in the bathroom & Mick shouts 2 him "did u find the shampoo?" Murphy
    says "yes but its for dry hair & i've just fuckin wet mine!"
  21. Replies
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    Today, my mate asked me if I knew the biological...

    Today, my mate asked me if I knew the biological word for a swollen vagina.

    I thought,Thick cunt
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    Had a Valentines poem rejected by the missus,...

    Had a Valentines poem rejected by the missus, what's wrong with Roses are red,
    violets are twisted, bend over darling you're just about to get fisted?
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    749
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    Asked my missus for a wank last night. She...

    Asked my missus for a wank last night. She started rubbing my cock with a
    keyring. Perhaps it's just me, but I felt like I was being fobbed off!
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    749
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    Just back from Margate, what a fucking...

    Just back from Margate, what a fucking rough-house, never going back. Down on
    the seafront I saw a man and a woman having a right barny until the woman
    smacked the man in the mouth and they...
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    Hadn't heard of Last FM I've set up an account...

    Hadn't heard of Last FM I've set up an account http://www.last.fm/user/Wattywam I'll have a listen to yours it looks good.
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