Drunken stories

[Rob Hannis]

The one night stand post by kainer got me thinking. We've all had one night stands after a bit too much beer so how about we share a few stories?

I'll kick off with a one from a while ago:

I was working as a canvasser for a double glazing compay in lincoln and after a good day (we'd got a few leads and had been in the pub quite a while) we went out on the piss in lincoln.

As we'd finished quite late we had to get drunk quickly before we got into the club. So we were ordering spirits in quadrouple measures and upsetting the bar staff. After we'd got enough down us we went to the club.

We decided it would be a good idea to have a pull a minger contest and all chipped in a couple of quid for whoever pulled the worst bird. Me and a mate got off to a slow start by pulling two dodgy birds then swapping them over meaning we were equal. But by that time another one of the lads was snogging this trog that couldn't be beaten (although she'd obviously been beaten with the ugly stick).

So we decided that since we wouldn't stoop low enough to win the cash we'd best pull something better. Anyways I spied this nice brunette and started getting a bit of a dance going on with her.

As I was chatting with her she asked me what I did for a living so I said 'double glazing salesman' and she replied 'so you must be good with your tongue then?' I couldn't beleive my luck! She walked right into that one.

After a bit of chat and snogging we went back to hers and I was working on transitioning between her guard and rear mount but but my bladder was too full for me to concentrate fully. I asked her where the bog was and she told me down the end of the corridor in her shared house.

Feeling happy with myself I trotted off bollock naked with hannis jnr still up for action. When I got into the toilet there was no way hannis jnr was going down as he knew what was waiting for him. This meant I had to engage in some serious drunk acrobatics in order to get my piss in the pan. After some time I finished and had to mop all of the toilet and floor where I'd missed the pan. Happy with myself I trotted back to continue trying not to pass the guard.

Don't know what I'd have done if any of her flat mates had seen me running around their flat in the buff.

All of this time though I couldn't remember her name, the next morning I had to ask her for her number so she'd write her name down! Then I had to try and work out where I was in lincoln, how to get to my mates to get my stuff for work, and what had she said about not being on the pill?

Next up the story of going bare back behind a low quality supermarket in gainsborough......

[Wiegieboard]

cool story

[Hywel Teague]

man i have a great story about my time in amsterdam but i'm not sure about telling the details to everyone on a public forum.

plus i don't think i could tell it without being extremely graphic, and that just wouldn't do

other than that, most of my drunken stories are pretty tame. i prefer to appreciate my filthy experiences sober

[cagewarriors]

Now its compulsory Doc you can,t go around teasing people so come on out with it, & make sure its extremely graphic!!

[Hywel Teague]

ok ok, well it was a few years ago when i was still in my "adventurous" phase.

my and the missus had gone to amsterdam for a few days, and on the last day we had decided we better do something consturctive apart from get smashed and shag, so we went to a museum- the sex museum

the sex museum, for those who have not been, is four floors of pure filth disguised as being "cultural".

every weird and wonderful fetish is explored(and i mean every), including plenty of classic ancient porn, right up to the most recent stuff.

well i was smashed walking round there- I was tripping like fuck on a combination of the most powerful weed in the world and some extremely high quality amphetamines, mixed with a little magic mushrooms (also known as breakfast).

i'd been awake for about 36 hours at this point having been to an allnight club the night before, and we'd been walking around this museum for about four hours. i thought my cock was going to tear itself out of my jeans, so i winked at the missus, she winked back and i knew we were on.

on the bottom floor, they had these little wank booths- a cubicle with a video screen above the door, but cunningly a mirror opposite, so if you have two people in there you both get to watch you put your five guilder coin in (now a couple of euros i expect) and hey presto you get a few minutes of porn.

numerous coins and two orgasms each later, we stumbled out into the street searching for the next coffee shop.

fucking great time



ps thats the clean version. i won't tell you what actually took place in the booth, thats just plain wrong