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Thread: Urgent: 1st timer needing sex tips

  1. #1

    Default Urgent: 1st timer needing sex tips

    alrite guys this is a bit embaresing to post (a bit more embaresing that i dont know how to spell embaresing), however im coming up to my year in a couple of weeks and my gf said that this is when we can finally DO IT. Now i know people are normally shit on the first time, but i was hoping i could get some pointers so i wouldnt be as bad, maybe even impress her

    Thanks for any proper advice
    Luke 'El Nino' Dalmedo
    Team Crossface
    Mill Hill BJJ
    Pro Record: 2-1-0

  2. #2
    The King of Crase DanCrase's Avatar
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    For the next few weeks; feed her a shitload of cakes and junk food.

    When shes really fat; you'll be able to last for ages mate

  3. #3

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    but i heard that fat girls make more of an effort, so really if shes giving me a good go im gonna be shedding my dirty water early doors
    Luke 'El Nino' Dalmedo
    Team Crossface
    Mill Hill BJJ
    Pro Record: 2-1-0

  4. #4
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    Get mortal drunk, then if you were bad, she wont remmeber?

  5. #5

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    Do it standing up, that way she can't get pregnant.


    Career highlight video
    Team Fulinkazan "The will to win compares little with the will to prepare to win"

  6. #6
    Dont be scared Homie Plastikman's Avatar
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    Paging Dr Jenkins. Dr Jenkins to the 1st timer thread please.
    "I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me." - Hunter S. Thompson

  7. #7
    Prince of Bel-Air Leesin's Avatar
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    Pro sex tip: When you're doing her from behind, lean forward and whisper into her ear "Your sister/mother was better" then hold on for aslong as you can whilst she bucks and lashes out, if you can time yourself we can see who's best at the rodeo

    Nah just kiddin, just slap her ass, suck her tits and pull her hair, if you blow your seeds quick just carry on. My fav consists of me standing and girl on the end of the bed or whatever you're doing it on if anything at all, missionary or doggy. Dickslap her too, making you wait an entire year of your life!.
    Last edited by Leesin; 28-09-2009 at 11:47 PM.

  8. #8

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    Dont get wrecked!
    I thought i was a badass drinking loads of vodka. The room was spinning, she was spinning.
    I was so vunreable didnt have a clue what i was doing, i couldnt control my hips . then some gay dude walked in and told us both to get out of the bed.
    Then i ran to the toilet and threw up

    i was in a state!

    smooth as fuck eh?
    being empty of yourself you cannot be attacked because you arent filled by you.

  9. #9
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    Lmfao.! ^^^^

  10. #10
    The King of Crase DanCrase's Avatar
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    The first time I ever got laid was in a park near my mums when I was 15.

    There was a group of us sat about drinking cider (classy, right?) and slowly, everyone disappeared except me and a girl called Lizzy (I think) anyhow, being drunk and charming; I asked her for a shag, and it just went from there. Most of it took place in the grass, but we made it to the swings and the roundabout too in the play area. Was pretty shit, if I remember right.

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