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Thread: Ask Frakes

  1. #101
    Dinky Ninja
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    Maccavelli's Avatar
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    If per se puberty played a cruel trick on oneself and the ability to grow valiant facial hair is never achieved are there alternative methods to achieving the same sort of manliness?

    What would be your top 5?
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  2. #102

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    John, is the manly pose above you mulling over which is the best BJJ Gi on the market , or are you wondering if Uhuru had a lady beard going on down below ?

    So are you a Faixa Rua or a Koral Gi kind of guy John ? which is more manly ? I have both so I like to think of myself as a man man....

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  3. #103
    Valiant Moderat JonathanFrakes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maccavelli View Post
    If per se puberty played a cruel trick on oneself and the ability to grow valiant facial hair is never achieved are there alternative methods to achieving the same sort of manliness?

    What would be your top 5?
    I have been informed that there are many genetic factors in the sort of beard that will appear on one's face. To make it manly you must be proud of it, whatever it's size and colour. Perhaps it is the beard on the inside that truly makes it valiant.

    My top 5 manly tips:

    1. Persistently refer to yourself in the 3rd person, this is a preferred method of Frakes (SEE!?)

    2. Adopt a series of manly poses and stances that you can enter when not speaking and position yourself at the fringes of invigorating and manly conversation until your pose is fully integrated into it.

    3. Continually rent out rooms at the nearest Premier Inn and bathe your chin in the juices of a beautiful woman.

    4. Order the firing of the proton torpedoes in a valiant and august manner.

    5. Use adjectives ending in the letter T such as valiant, puissant and august.
    I am number 1, because Picard says so.

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  4. #104
    Valiant Moderat JonathanFrakes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bateman View Post
    John, is the manly pose above you mulling over which is the best BJJ Gi on the market , or are you wondering if Uhuru had a lady beard going on down below ?

    So are you a Faixa Rua or a Koral Gi kind of guy John ? which is more manly ? I have both so I like to think of myself as a man man....

    Many Thanks
    I was actually considering the possible calculations involved in creating the fabled Beard Mass Index.

    However, to contemplate your suggestions:

    The best BJJ Gi on the market. I myself own two fine white Gis. I always make sure they are well kept, washed and ironed to a manly and valiant standard. Many at my gym wear both the Koral and Faixa Rua Gis. Frakes sports neither of these, that does not make them less manly. The men with beards seem to sport the Koral variety more which perhaps tells us something.

    Uhura was a mysterious one. I am told by Mr Shatner that the famous scene from the wrath of Khan was actually a live capture of himself first catching a glimpse of her pie. So it was not really "KHAN!" that he yelled, it was another word for Ladygarden.

    He informed me that her fabled minge allegedly inspired George Lucas to create the character Chewbacca.
    I am number 1, because Picard says so.

    Ask Frakes!

    Do you know a Fridgeless Fail? Send them HERE!

  5. #105

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    a very robust answer John, thanks

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  6. #106
    Valiant Moderat JonathanFrakes's Avatar
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    Robust, ends in T, like it!
    I am number 1, because Picard says so.

    Ask Frakes!

    Do you know a Fridgeless Fail? Send them HERE!

  7. #107

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    apart from manliness, what does the beard spritually represent? For instance the feet are said to represent progress.
    P.S. Stubbsy is grounded for going to places with ladies he doesn't know and for continuing to speak with strangers on the internet

  8. #108
    Valiant Moderat JonathanFrakes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stubbsysmum View Post
    apart from manliness, what does the beard spritually represent? For instance the feet are said to represent progress.
    P.S. Stubbsy is grounded for going to places with ladies he doesn't know and for continuing to speak with strangers on the internet
    In Judaism the beard represents the bridge between Mind and Heart and as such their Kabbala forbids them from cutting it.

    In dream interpretation a beard represents uncertainty, or if you grow one in a dream it can represent hiding.

    In Sikhism it is a symbol of manhood and strength.

    In Christianity it looks awesome on paintings and is worn by such notable figures as God, Moses and that lovable Frakes lookalike, Jesus.

    Spiritually I believe the beard is a symbol of a man unafraid to let the hair within come out. This represents the ultimate expression of his inner being and shows him as valiant and manly.
    I am number 1, because Picard says so.

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  9. #109
    Resident Hippy Mod CraigSt.Clair's Avatar
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    Mr Frakes, could we describe Cage Warriors as pungent?
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  10. #110
    Valiant Moderat JonathanFrakes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CraigSt.Clair View Post
    Mr Frakes, could we describe Cage Warriors as pungent?
    Pungent, at times.

    I would say Fragrant as there are a number of different scents at any time.

    I think manly adjectives may be tomorrow's thread. Look out for it.
    I am number 1, because Picard says so.

    Ask Frakes!

    Do you know a Fridgeless Fail? Send them HERE!

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