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Thread: Ask Frakes

  1. #131

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    Quote Originally Posted by JonathanFrakes View Post
    Amazing, he is even sporting a Frakes-esque haircut!

    I particularly like the positioning of his right hand depressing the kilt and preventing his second beard from being displayed.

    A fine combination of beard, haircut and valiant pose.

    Tell me, when this picture was taken did the photographer get him to say "Fire"?
    I do beleive he did raise the hand cupping his manly and bearded sporran to point and say "Fire".

    He is indeed a manly man and in fact, the best Frakes substitute that I could find when it became evident that I was lightyears away from your league.

  2. #132

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    You are getting on a bit now. Is little Jonny still in operative order? Can he still maintain a "manly" and "valiant stance" ?

  3. #133
    Valiant Moderat JonathanFrakes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Femme-ma View Post
    I do beleive he did raise the hand cupping his manly and bearded sporran to point and say "Fire".

    He is indeed a manly man and in fact, the best Frakes substitute that I could find when it became evident that I was lightyears away from your league.
    That is a touching and heart warming story of manly and valiant justice.

    I am sure that you will find him to be as puissant as he is august.

    Although, for your own pleasure, here is a signed photo.

    I am number 1, because Picard says so.

    Ask Frakes!

    Do you know a Fridgeless Fail? Send them HERE!

  4. #134
    Valiant Moderat JonathanFrakes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stubbsysmum View Post
    You are getting on a bit now. Is little Jonny still in operative order? Can he still maintain a "manly" and "valiant stance" ?
    The Frakeson torpedo is still potent and puissant and always responds to the timely command of "Fire".
    I am number 1, because Picard says so.

    Ask Frakes!

    Do you know a Fridgeless Fail? Send them HERE!

  5. #135

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    Frakes, what is the most manly swear word? I need this advice in order to establish my dominance over inferior and lesser men than i, and encourage them to bask in the glory of beardedness.
    This is not a gif. It is an actual video of Fedor doing infinate press ups.
    3-0-0

  6. #136
    Valiant Moderat JonathanFrakes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jak-TapouT- View Post
    Frakes, what is the most manly swear word? I need this advice in order to establish my dominance over inferior and lesser men than i, and encourage them to bask in the glory of beardedness.
    Select ones that end in T. Cunt is generally the most offensive.

    Manly men don't need to swear though, you should use sword fighter insults from Monkey Island such as "You fight like a dairy farmer!"
    I am number 1, because Picard says so.

    Ask Frakes!

    Do you know a Fridgeless Fail? Send them HERE!

  7. #137

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    Frakes,

    I am in need of your assistance once again. I have a dilema.

    Upon arriving at work this morning with my newly grown stubble. (I have not shaved since I saw your manly beard) I discovered that I have really smelly farts. Now I consider the fart to be a sign on manlyness. The louder and smellier means the more manley you are. However as previously discussed I work in an office with several women. Women generally don't like smelly and loud and valiant manly farts.

    So I ask you, with my newly grown stubble (Jr manly beard) am I in a position to drop my guts in the office and deflect the wrath of my co workers by rubbing my chin? Or do I need to have several more days growth till I can be flatulent in front of ladies without fear of reprisial?

    Awaiting your advice with baited breath valliantly.

  8. #138
    Valiant Moderat JonathanFrakes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sledge View Post
    Frakes,

    I am in need of your assistance once again. I have a dilema.

    Upon arriving at work this morning with my newly grown stubble. (I have not shaved since I saw your manly beard) I discovered that I have really smelly farts. Now I consider the fart to be a sign on manlyness. The louder and smellier means the more manley you are. However as previously discussed I work in an office with several women. Women generally don't like smelly and loud and valiant manly farts.

    So I ask you, with my newly grown stubble (Jr manly beard) am I in a position to drop my guts in the office and deflect the wrath of my co workers by rubbing my chin? Or do I need to have several more days growth till I can be flatulent in front of ladies without fear of reprisial?

    Awaiting your advice with baited breath valliantly.
    There is a simple, valiant and puissant solution to your problem.

    Before you do the fart you must walk to the middle of the office, ensuring that you have everyone's attention. Enter your valiant stance and say proudly and steadily, "Vent the warp plasma." This will increase your manlyness tenfold.

    If you believe that the fart is such that the brown torpedo will be deployed in the follow through, change the line to "Fire."

    Problem solved, manlyness intact.
    I am number 1, because Picard says so.

    Ask Frakes!

    Do you know a Fridgeless Fail? Send them HERE!

  9. #139

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    Quote Originally Posted by JonathanFrakes View Post
    There is a simple, valiant and puissant solution to your problem.

    Before you do the fart you must walk to the middle of the office, ensuring that you have everyone's attention. Enter your valiant stance and say proudly and steadily, "Vent the warp plasma." This will increase your manlyness tenfold.

    If you believe that the fart is such that the brown torpedo will be deployed in the follow through, change the line to "Fire."

    Problem solved, manlyness intact.
    You are awesome. I am forwever in your debt.

  10. #140
    Valiant Moderat JonathanFrakes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sledge View Post
    You are awesome. I am forwever in your debt.
    Personally, when I fart I tend to make it seem more comical by producing a more musical fart noise on my trombone.
    I am number 1, because Picard says so.

    Ask Frakes!

    Do you know a Fridgeless Fail? Send them HERE!

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