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Thread: Ask Frakes

  1. #61
    Valiant Moderat JonathanFrakes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stubbsysmum View Post
    Do you have a style chart?
    Your techniques for taming an unruly one?
    I don't keep a style chart as I myself do not require one. Perhaps some kind of Beard Mass Index can be put together.

    An unruly beard can be tamed by vigorous combing, stroking and by placing it within 2 metres of a razor and some warm water.

    Occasionally it may be necessary to calm it with some manly music. I tend to play it songs on my trombone when my beard is in the huff.
    I am number 1, because Picard says so.

    Ask Frakes!

    Do you know a Fridgeless Fail? Send them HERE!

  2. #62
    Valiant Moderat JonathanFrakes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MikeyL View Post
    THAT WORKS. I AM A MAN!
    Joyous! Now you may parade from place to place with your head held high, proudly displaying your manly beard and valiant stance.
    I am number 1, because Picard says so.

    Ask Frakes!

    Do you know a Fridgeless Fail? Send them HERE!

  3. #63
    Senior Member Jogs D's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JonathanFrakes View Post
    I don't keep a style chart as I myself do not require one. Perhaps some kind of Beard Mass Index can be put together.

    An unruly beard can be tamed by vigorous combing, stroking and by placing it within 2 metres of a razor and some warm water.

    Occasionally it may be necessary to calm it with some manly music. I tend to play it songs on my trombone when my beard is in the huff.
    You mean there isn't already such a thing as a Beard Mass Index??? What a disgrace!

  4. #64

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    80 posts of pure manly genius.

    Mr Frakes, I worry that I'll never be able to achieve a full beard. My facial hair turns a ginger colour when it gets to any real length.

    Any advice?
    Dan Hardy talks Swick, GSP and Daley and trains with new thai coach at Libery gym in Nottingham HERE

  5. #65

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    Have you ever dared apply for a job with EDS?

  6. #66
    Valiant Moderat JonathanFrakes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jogs D View Post
    You mean there isn't already such a thing as a Beard Mass Index??? What a disgrace!
    Perhaps as Frakes it is my duty to produce it. I shall call a Council of manly beard wearers and we can create it.
    I am number 1, because Picard says so.

    Ask Frakes!

    Do you know a Fridgeless Fail? Send them HERE!

  7. #67
    Valiant Moderat JonathanFrakes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RGS1 View Post
    80 posts of pure manly genius.

    Mr Frakes, I worry that I'll never be able to achieve a full beard. My facial hair turns a ginger colour when it gets to any real length.

    Any advice?
    Do not be afraid of the colouration of your beard. It is more manly to be ginger and wear it proudly than it is to shave it down in shame.

    As preparation for this, as it begins to grow in, stand in front of a mirror for at least an hour, looking at your manly beard and chanting the word "Valiant".

    Frakes believes in you.
    I am number 1, because Picard says so.

    Ask Frakes!

    Do you know a Fridgeless Fail? Send them HERE!

  8. #68
    Valiant Moderat JonathanFrakes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stubbsysmum View Post
    Have you ever dared apply for a job with EDS?
    I've never had to, I have always had enough work writing and directing.

    I also do many public appearances where my manly beard can be viewed in its full glory.
    I am number 1, because Picard says so.

    Ask Frakes!

    Do you know a Fridgeless Fail? Send them HERE!

  9. #69
    Is very important around here MikeyL's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JonathanFrakes View Post
    Joyous! Now you may parade from place to place with your head held high, proudly displaying your manly beard and valiant stance.
    I dont have a beard I just jissed myself?
    The views I express on this forum are my own and are no way associated with any organisation I work with.

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  10. #70
    Valiant Moderat JonathanFrakes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MikeyL View Post
    I dont have a beard I just jissed myself?
    Well, that's also a reason for celebration.
    I am number 1, because Picard says so.

    Ask Frakes!

    Do you know a Fridgeless Fail? Send them HERE!

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