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Thread: >> Post A Joke <<

  1. #121

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    Gazza was caught by a Nurse in the Priory Clinic, with his cock stuck between 2 biscuits.

    Nurse ask "What are you doing"

    Gazza says "Wye aye lass" "IM F*CKN CRACKERS !!"
    "He’ll never sell any ice cream going at that speed"

  2. #122

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    Just bought the Wife a new bag and belt for Valentines Day.

    The Vacuum Cleaner works a fckn treat now !!
    "He’ll never sell any ice cream going at that speed"

  3. #123

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    zookeeper says to paddy 'the gorilla is on heat and we need someone to have sex with it.Would you consider it for £500?'

    paddy replies 'i will on three conditions. 1st im not going to kiss it. 2nd my family and friends must never know. 3rd ill need a few weeks to get the cash together'

  4. #124

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    Ive got a valentines poem that never yet failed to get me into a girls knickers.
    Roses are red violets are blue,ive got a knife,get in the fucking van!

  5. #125
    Banned
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Middlesbrough - Ormesby.
    Posts
    3,212

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by beerwolf83 View Post
    Ive got a valentines poem that never yet failed to get me into a girls knickers.
    Roses are red violets are blue,ive got a knife,get in the fucking van!
    That was lame, but i fucking lol'd hard.

  6. #126

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    Whats passed 34 MOTs and never moved? Man citys open top bus

  7. #127
    Senior Member PhilYHC's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Yeovil, Somerset
    Posts
    436

    Default

    why does Rupert the bear wear silly trousers?

    because he is a CUNT.

    why did the little girl fall off the swing?

    she had no arms.

    whats the best thing about pushing a baby on a swing?

    stopping it with a shovel.

    ithankyou.
    The streets are alive with the sounds of pain...EARN YOUR F***ING SCARS, SON!

  8. #128

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by beerwolf83 View Post
    Whats passed 34 MOTs and never moved? Man citys open top bus
    Now that is funny

  9. #129

    Default

    3 blokes, tom, john and bob were cleaning the windows of a high rise building.
    suddenly tom falls and crashes on the concrete dieing instantly.
    john looks at bob and says who will tell his wife?
    bob says 'ill do it, im good at that compassionate stuff'
    so bob goes away and comes back a few hours later carrying a crate of beer
    john says 'why have you got that beer?
    bob says 'toms wife gave it to me'
    john says 'you mean you told her that her husband had died and she gave you beer?'
    bob says 'not exactly, i knocked on the door and said "you must be toms widow, she looked at me and said no im not a widow, so i said...wanna bet a crate of beer on it?"
    "The more you sweat in peace, the less you bleed in war"
    GFT

  10. #130

    Default

    What do you call an epileptic lying on a pile of dry leaves?












    Russell

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