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Thread: >> Post A Joke <<

  1. 09-09-2011, 11:20 AM #621
    ShaolinSubz02
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eric Morecambe View Post
    I was unhappy with my wife's mood swings, so I bought her a "Mood Ring" so I could monitor her moods ...

    I discovered that, when she was in a good mood it turned green and, when she was in a bad mood, it would leave a big bloody red mark on my forehead !!
    ahahhahaha!!! Awesome!


    i see you have picked up some spam bot fans LOL! "Why the continued face..." LMFAO!
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  2. 09-09-2011, 12:13 PM #622
    Eric Morecambe
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    Quote Originally Posted by ShaolinSubz02 View Post


    i see you have picked up some spam bot fans LOL!
    Yes I see them my friend ha ha

    "He値l never sell any ice cream going at that speed"
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  3. 09-09-2011, 12:14 PM #623
    Eric Morecambe
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    Just saw a man in Asda trying to put his plums in a jar of mayonaise ...

    I thought bloody hellman ...

    "He値l never sell any ice cream going at that speed"
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  4. 09-09-2011, 12:17 PM #624
    Eric Morecambe
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    I nearly got hit by a woman driving a car this morning, but luckily I jumped out of the way just in time.

    Into the road.
    "He値l never sell any ice cream going at that speed"
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  5. 09-09-2011, 04:58 PM #625
    Eric Morecambe
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    I can remember my Mum used to be into all kinds of remedies, to try and cure illness that we had in the Morecambe family ..
    When my father fell ill with Bronchitis, Mum used to rub his back with grease from oven fat ...

    From then on, he went down hill very quickly ...

    "He値l never sell any ice cream going at that speed"
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  6. 12-09-2011, 03:59 PM #626
    Eric Morecambe
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    So I'm standing with Ernie at the bar and this little Chinese guy is stood at the side of me .
    I said to him "Hello, do you know martial arts like Kung Fu and ju-jitsu ??"...
    He replied "Why the hell you ask me that ?" .. "Is it because I'm Chinese?!"
    "No not at all" .. I said .. "It's because your drinking my pint you little GIT !!"
    "He値l never sell any ice cream going at that speed"
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  7. 13-09-2011, 04:06 PM #627
    Eric Morecambe
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    I got mugged last night after leaving Ernie at the pub.
    An hour I was struggling, and wrestling with this mugger and then this GIT finally gets me wallet. He opened it to find that I had just 30 pence there ..
    You should've seen his face ha ha!!
    The mugger said to me "Why did you put up such a fight for just 30 pence ?"
    I said "Cuz I thought you were looking for the ｣500 in my sock".
    "He値l never sell any ice cream going at that speed"
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  8. 13-09-2011, 04:52 PM #628
    Eric Morecambe
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    Ernie and I were sent to Libya to secretly take out Gadaffi ..

    So far he's been to the cinema twice and tomorrow were going horse racing ...

    "He値l never sell any ice cream going at that speed"
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  9. 13-09-2011, 05:54 PM #629
    ShaolinSubz02
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eric Morecambe View Post
    Ernie and I were sent to Libya to secretly take out Gadaffi ..

    So far he's been to the cinema twice and tomorrow were going horse racing ...

    LOL!!

    Keep em coming - almost 100% hit rate with your gags dude
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  10. 14-09-2011, 05:11 PM #630
    Eric Morecambe
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    I had a bloody nightmare this morning .. I accidently mixed my "I can't believe it's not butter" with my real butter .

    Now I don't know what to believe
    "He値l never sell any ice cream going at that speed"
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