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  1. #741

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    A beautiful African lady called Betty came into Ernie's restaurant last night ...
    I sat her down at the table and gave her a menu.
    She asked "I'm sorry but I can't see any fish on the menu ?"
    I replied "Whoah Black Betty, its ham or lamb !"
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    "He値l never sell any ice cream going at that speed"

  2. #742

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    We put our heads between our legs & lean forward ...

    That's how me & Ernie roll ..
    "He値l never sell any ice cream going at that speed"

  3. #743
    settings/edit profile Jimmy Boogaloo's Avatar
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    Apr 2007
    Location
    London Town
    Posts
    9,484

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    One of my favourite jokes I heard in the upstairs bit of a pub. It's all in the delivery, so it won't be any good on here. That's never been a problem in the past.

    'a lot of my comedy friends have been saying recently, "ah, observational comedy is all the rage, everybody is talking about it".

    "really? I haven't noticed..."'
    'I'm not saying I couldn't find a few minutes a day to read a forum, but somehow I've managed to make it through these past few years without being called a faggot on a daily basis.'

  4. #744

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    I went to a zoo the other day and it only one animal in it, a dog. It was a Shitzu.
    Sherdog.com - The number one MMA site on the web today!

  5. #745

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    I've seen it all now ...
    I've just seen a bloke chatting up a Cheetah ...

    I reckon he's trying to pull a fast one !

    sid_2467890b.jpg
    "He値l never sell any ice cream going at that speed"

  6. #746

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    god that photo is like looking in a mirror.
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  7. #747

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    Mrs Morecambe reckons I only have two faults ...

    I don't listen and some other rubbish she was rattling on about.
    "He値l never sell any ice cream going at that speed"

  8. #748

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    Forgot to tell you lot that once I had a complement off G.S.P ...
    He told me that I had good Karate technique ...

    Didn't have the heart to tell him I just walked through a Spider's Web.
    "He値l never sell any ice cream going at that speed"

  9. #749

    Default

    Ernie and I was in the Bank earlier on when a Woman came in to see the Manager, with a 」50.00 note stuck in one ear and 」20.00 note in the other.
    I could see Ernie looking at the lass, thinking "What's the hell going on there then"
    I nudged Ernie and said "I think she's 」70.00 in 'erreras !!"

    "He値l never sell any ice cream going at that speed"

  10. #750

    Default

    Don't believe it. Ernie's dog Minton, just ate my shuttlecock ...

    BAD MINTON !!!
    "He値l never sell any ice cream going at that speed"

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