Kiddies playing 'UFC' at home smash into a load of glass.
turning into the funny thread ... what happened to the jokes?
wax on wax off
That's the most unfunny joke in the entire thread.
Man gets home, tells wife "Get me a beer before it starts"
He drinks it then says "Quick get me another before it starts"
Again she gets him another beer, then he says "Again before it starts"
She replies "Listen here you fat lazy twat. You walk in, sit down & start giving orders !"
He says "F*CK ME, ITS STARTED !!!"
"He’ll never sell any ice cream going at that speed"
picture the scene...new york a high rise block is on fire almost at the top there is a young woman crying craddling something. at the bottom the fire dept are waiting, shouting "jump we will catch you with this" ( waving what looks like a trampoline ). woman thinks then replies "i cant what about my baby" the fire dept discuss, just then a black guy steps from the crowd which has gathered, he says "throw down your baby i will catch it, i play wide receiver for a pro football team, im paid to catch the football ican catch your baby" woman thinks then says "i've seen you on tv,your pretty good...ok" so she holds out the baby a drops it. now the baby is falling, but there is a sudden gust of wind and the baby starts to drift so the guy starts running after it as the crowd scream in terror, so he is running and the baby is drifting and falling, and the guy is running and the baby is falling the guy is jumping over cars and pushing people out the way and the baby is falling
then the guy makes a final and courageous dive and plucks the baby from the air. the cowd go wild clapping and cheering theguy gets up does the 2 step and spikes the baby sorry it had to cover 2 posts