The Italian squad visited an AIDS orphanage in South Africa last week.. "It's so good to put a smile on the faces of people constantly struggling & facing the impossible", said Sipho Ngidi,AIDS orphan, age 6.
The Italian squad visited an AIDS orphanage in South Africa last week.. "It's so good to put a smile on the faces of people constantly struggling & facing the impossible", said Sipho Ngidi,AIDS orphan, age 6.
Olympians MMA
Fabio Capello and his Football Squad were taking part in a Team Re-building exercise in the desert after their disappointing performance in the World Cup …
During their excursion, they get lost in a sandstorm. After wondering around helplessly for days, they stumble across a Englishmen market stall selling ties.
John Terry says “Have you got any water mate?”
“No” said the Englishmen, “But would you like to buy a tie for £10?
“Fuck off” said John “We all need water you twat”
The Englishman said “I will rise above your bad behaviour lads & tell you where you can find water” “If you walk for 2 miles towards the sun you will find a restaurant where they serve ICE COLD WATER free of charge ..”
Off the England team goes …
After about 5 hours they all come back nearly dead …
John says to the Englishmen “ You cunt, your brother wont let me in without a tie”
"He’ll never sell any ice cream going at that speed"
Unfortunately sex has gone downhill recently with Mrs Morecambe, so I thought I'd spice things up by buying a dildo ..
She said to me “It looks like a giant carrot !!”
Now this is ironic really, as her fanny looks like a donkey yawning !
"He’ll never sell any ice cream going at that speed"
My ex-mate called me a psychopath the other week which I thought was a bit harsh
I am totally gonna carve his name out of my arm now
My wife called me an annoying cunt the other day.
I almost choked on my vuvuzela.
They guy who invented Burpees , is a secret child molester
I was invited to a charity function recently for the Premature Ejaculation Society. I wasn't sure what the dress code was, so I just came in my pants.
After 30 years of marriage, Mrs Morecambe and I were lying in bed one evening, when my wife felt my hand begin to fondle her in ways I hadn't done for sometime.
It almost tickled her as my fingers started at her neck, and then began moving down past the small of her back.
I then caressed her shoulders and neck, slowly worked my hand down over her breasts, stopping just over her lower stomach.
I then proceeded to place my hand on her left inner arm, caressed past the side of her breast again, working down her side, passed gently over
her buttock and down her leg to her calf. Then, I proceeded up her inner thigh, stopping just at the uppermost portion of her leg. I continued in the same manner on her right side, then suddenly stopped, rolled over and started to watch the tv.
As she had become quite aroused by this caressing, she asked me in a loving voice, 'That was wonderful. Why did you stop?'
I replied "I found the remote my babs ..."
"He’ll never sell any ice cream going at that speed"
Ernie and I got thrown out of the local mosque the other day …
We were stood there during prayers …... and …..... well …...
We just could'nt help ourselves ….
Everyone loves a good game of leapfrog !!!
"He’ll never sell any ice cream going at that speed"
LOLOLOL That had me laugh out loud LMFAOOriginally Posted by Eric Morecambe
LOL, this one is getting forwarded
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