I watched intently as the 'other' woman peeled off my girlfriends panties and stared closely as she delicately inserted her finger into my her pussy. Naturally I undid my trousers and began wanking.......Midwives eh?... got no fucking sense of humour at all!!!
Peter invites his Mum for tea.
She notices his flat mate Joe is slightly camp & although she suspected Peter is gay, he denies that anything is going on and says that they are only flat mates.
A week later Joe says to Peter,"Ever since your mum came to tea, I can't find the frying pan."
Peter E-mails his Mum & says:-
"Dear Mum, I'm not saying that you DID take the frying pan, and I'm not saying you DID NOT take the frying pan, but its been missing ever since you came for tea. Love Peter"
His Mum replies:-
"Dear son, I'm not saying you DO sleep with Joe & I'm not saying you DO NOT sleep with Joe, but if he was sleeping in his own bed he would have found the frying pan by now you bent little bastard... Love Mum"
"He’ll never sell any ice cream going at that speed"
It seems that George Michael has been having trouble sleeping in prison so they've fitted his cell with a Range Rover front seat and now he sleeps right through
Apparently the drop in the number of suicide bombings has been put down to the emergence of Scottish singing star Susan Boyle. Now that Muslims know what an actual virgin looks like, they are not so keen on going to paradise.
Met a girl in the park ..
There was an instant spark between us ..
She fell at my feet and as I made love to her ...
I thought, "These taser guns are well worth the money.....".
"He’ll never sell any ice cream going at that speed"
After one hour in prison George Micheal had a chocolate bar shoved up his arse by inmates.
Prison officers said it was a case of a careless wispa...
Marriage is like a deck of cards ..
In the beginning all you need is 2 hearts and a diamond ..
By the end you'll wish you had a bloody club and a spade !!
"He’ll never sell any ice cream going at that speed"
Do you know what, I saw a bloke in Tesco's being thrown out for shagging a toilet roll ...
I thought, that fuckn Charmin
"He’ll never sell any ice cream going at that speed"
What's the biggest cause of paedophilia in the UK?
Sexy kids.
I used to be in a band called 'Missing Cat'.
You probably saw our posters.
Neil Laird Pro 77kg 2-2 @definitelyneil
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