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Thread: >> Post A Joke <<

  1. #401

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    I feel like I've been 12 rounds with Audley Harrison.

    Absolutely fine.

  2. #402

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    I stumbled across a mass baptism at a river one day.
    I walked into the river and stood next to the preacher.
    He said to me"Are you ready to find Jesus my son?"
    I said, "Yeah OK."
    The preacher puts me under the water then says, "Have you found Jesus?"
    Blowing air out of my mouth, I said "No sir."
    He then puts me under for longer. "Have you found Jesus?"
    Gulping for air, I said "No sir."
    He then puts me under for two minutes. "Have you found Jesus?"
    Struggling to get my breath, I said "Are you fucking sure this is where he fell in?”
    "He’ll never sell any ice cream going at that speed"

  3. #403

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    Quote Originally Posted by Eric Morecambe View Post
    My racing snail is'nt winning races like he used to down the Social Club.

    I thought I would take off his shell so it would be less weight for him and make him go faster.

    I tried it, but if anything it made him more Sluggish ..
    Hahahaha! Love it.

  4. #404

    Default

    Kate Middleton to marry Prince William. Finally, a stamp you can wank over!

  5. #405

    Default

    A newlywed Chinese couple are in bed on their wedding night.
    The bride is very shy! the groom says, "you no woly honney I do dis before..You just ter me what you rike and I do ebrything!"

    The bride is very shy...she says, "wer...I her some a da girs talking and I think me rike to try a numba 69"


    The Groom says.....


















    "You want a sweet n sour chicken with cashews????"
    IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT'S GO TIME!!!!!

  6. #406

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    Quote Originally Posted by BritFighter View Post
    A newlywed Chinese couple are in bed on their wedding night.
    The bride is very shy! the groom says, "you no woly honney I do dis before..You just ter me what you rike and I do ebrything!"

    The bride is very shy...she says, "wer...I her some a da girs talking and I think me rike to try a numba 69"


    The Groom says.....


















    "You want a sweet n sour chicken with cashews????"
    God, Please smite him for his racism
    Genetically Different.

  7. #407
    **NSFW**
    Paul Jenkins
    Pro Fighter
    Hands Of Stone's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Location
    Cardiff
    Posts
    1,468

    Default

    According MSN News: 'Men Who Rape Will Be Named'
    Cool.
    Can I have 'Nightstriker' or has that already been taken?


    Why is everyone suddenly saying how hot Hermione from Harry Potter is?
    I've been saying that for the last ten years.


    I text my boss today, "What's the difference between this morning and your daughter?"
    He answered, "I don't know."
    I replied, "I'm not coming in this morning."


    I'm not going to be donating tonight. While the people at Children in Need stress that young Nigerian girls have been diagnosed with AIDs due to poor sanitary levels, it's my belief that they're simply dirty sluts.


    The lead actor in our local pantomime 'Aladdin', was bum raped by the gay genie on stage last night.
    To be fair the audience did try to warn him. . . . .



    The Hands
    Last edited by Hands Of Stone; 20-11-2010 at 01:39 AM.
    "Try masturbating during a thunderstorm. Seriously. It makes you feel like Thor."

    Here Come Da Pain......

    www.dogsofwar.info

  8. #408

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    [QUOTE=Hands Of Stone;699499
    I text my boss today, "What's the difference between this morning and your daughter?"
    He answered, "I don't know."
    I replied, "I'm not coming in this morning."
    The Hands[/QUOTE]

    Quality rofl!
    "You can't have that, you're far to fat"

  9. #409

    Default

    I done a Charity Pantomime last night in aid of Paranoid Schizophrenics and Homosexuals.

    It was going well until someone shouted 'HE'S BEHIND YOU'.
    "He’ll never sell any ice cream going at that speed"

  10. #410

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Hands Of Stone View Post
    The lead actor in our local pantomime 'Aladdin', was bum raped by the gay genie on stage last night.
    To be fair the audience did try to warn him. . . . .



    The Hands
    Now thats the one ...
    "He’ll never sell any ice cream going at that speed"

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