I feel like I've been 12 rounds with Audley Harrison.
Absolutely fine.
I feel like I've been 12 rounds with Audley Harrison.
Absolutely fine.
I stumbled across a mass baptism at a river one day.
I walked into the river and stood next to the preacher.
He said to me"Are you ready to find Jesus my son?"
I said, "Yeah OK."
The preacher puts me under the water then says, "Have you found Jesus?"
Blowing air out of my mouth, I said "No sir."
He then puts me under for longer. "Have you found Jesus?"
Gulping for air, I said "No sir."
He then puts me under for two minutes. "Have you found Jesus?"
Struggling to get my breath, I said "Are you fucking sure this is where he fell in?”
"He’ll never sell any ice cream going at that speed"
Hahahaha! Love it.Originally Posted by Eric Morecambe
Kate Middleton to marry Prince William. Finally, a stamp you can wank over!
A newlywed Chinese couple are in bed on their wedding night.
The bride is very shy! the groom says, "you no woly honney I do dis before..You just ter me what you rike and I do ebrything!"
The bride is very shy...she says, "wer...I her some a da girs talking and I think me rike to try a numba 69"
The Groom says.....
"You want a sweet n sour chicken with cashews????"
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT'S GO TIME!!!!!
God, Please smite him for his racismA newlywed Chinese couple are in bed on their wedding night.
The bride is very shy! the groom says, "you no woly honney I do dis before..You just ter me what you rike and I do ebrything!"
The bride is very shy...she says, "wer...I her some a da girs talking and I think me rike to try a numba 69"
The Groom says.....
"You want a sweet n sour chicken with cashews????"
Genetically Different.
According MSN News: 'Men Who Rape Will Be Named'
Cool.
Can I have 'Nightstriker' or has that already been taken?
Why is everyone suddenly saying how hot Hermione from Harry Potter is?
I've been saying that for the last ten years.
I text my boss today, "What's the difference between this morning and your daughter?"
He answered, "I don't know."
I replied, "I'm not coming in this morning."
I'm not going to be donating tonight. While the people at Children in Need stress that young Nigerian girls have been diagnosed with AIDs due to poor sanitary levels, it's my belief that they're simply dirty sluts.
The lead actor in our local pantomime 'Aladdin', was bum raped by the gay genie on stage last night.
To be fair the audience did try to warn him. . . . .
The Hands
Last edited by Hands Of Stone; 20-11-2010 at 01:39 AM.
"Try masturbating during a thunderstorm. Seriously. It makes you feel like Thor."
Here Come Da Pain......
www.dogsofwar.info
[QUOTE=Hands Of Stone;699499
I text my boss today, "What's the difference between this morning and your daughter?"
He answered, "I don't know."
I replied, "I'm not coming in this morning."
The Hands[/QUOTE]
Quality rofl!
"You can't have that, you're far to fat"
I done a Charity Pantomime last night in aid of Paranoid Schizophrenics and Homosexuals.
It was going well until someone shouted 'HE'S BEHIND YOU'.
"He’ll never sell any ice cream going at that speed"
Now thats the one ...
"He’ll never sell any ice cream going at that speed"
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