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Thread: >> Post A Joke <<

  1. #541

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    Ernie & I decided to have a race up a hill ..

    Ernie said to me "Eric, if I get to the top first I'm going to write my name on the rock up there"

    I replied "If I get to the top first I'm going to rub it out !!"
    "He’ll never sell any ice cream going at that speed"

  2. #542

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    What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy?


    Gang rape.

  3. #543

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    The worst pub I've ever been in was called The Fiddle.
    It really was a vile inn
    "He’ll never sell any ice cream going at that speed"

  4. #544

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    Quote Originally Posted by Darkside View Post
    Sat down in a public toilet & a voice came from the next cubicle "hello mate, how you doing?" i though it was a bit strange, but i didnt want to be rude so i answered "not too bad thanks" after a short pause i heard the voice again "so, what you up to?" I answered somewhat reluctantly "just having a shit...how about yourself?? Then i heard him say "sorry mate i'll have to phone you back, ive got some twat in the next cubicle answering everything i say!"
    I also think so.
    __________________
    watch movies online for free

  5. #545

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    Me Eric Morecambe, invented a lie detector robot which slapped people who lie'd “WEY HEY”.
    Our local Policeman heard about my invention and asked if he could test it out at his house.
    When he got it home he set it up around the table to use at dinner.

    Policeman: Son, where were you today during school hours?

    Son: At school Dad.

    Robot slaps son! Ok I lied I went to the movies

    Dad: Which one?

    Son: Toy Story.

    Robot slaps son again!

    Son: Ok, it was a Day with Pornstar

    Dad: What?! When I was your age I didn't know what porn was...

    Robot slaps dad!

    Mum; Ha Ha! He is certainly your son.

    Robot slaps mum!!
    "He’ll never sell any ice cream going at that speed"

  6. #546

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    Quote Originally Posted by Eric Morecambe View Post
    The worst pub I've ever been in was called The Fiddle.
    It really was a vile inn
    lool...................

  7. #547

    Default

    Tell you what, I just bought a car off Bonnie Tyler.
    It goes ok most of the time, but every now and then it falls apart.
    "He’ll never sell any ice cream going at that speed"

  8. #548

    Default

    What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?

    Dam!
    An unintuitive consequence of conditional probability.

  9. #549

    Default

    Call it a hunch, but I've got an abnormal convex curvature of the upper spine ....
    "He’ll never sell any ice cream going at that speed"

  10. #550

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    A guy in a tractor has just driven past Ernie and I shouting "The end of the world is nigh !!"

    I think it was Farmer Geddon ...
    "He’ll never sell any ice cream going at that speed"

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