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Thread: >> Post A Joke <<

  1. 21-09-2011, 12:00 PM #641
    Eric Morecambe
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    “Do you know what, I really hate sitting in traffic .."

    "Always get run over, I do Ern.”

    "He値l never sell any ice cream going at that speed"
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  2. 21-09-2011, 12:54 PM #642
    ShaolinSubz02
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eric Morecambe View Post
    I, Farmer Eric was approached by the Police drugs devision the other day ..
    The officer ask me "Eric I need to inspect your farm for illegally grown drugs."
    I said, "How dare you !! You wont find anything here .."
    The Police officer FIRMLY said, " Mr Morecambe, I have the authority of the Government with me !"
    "Okey Dokey , but for christ sake Officer don't go in that field over there.....", I pointed out the location.

    Reaching into his pocket, he showed his badge to me and said "See this badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish.... On any land !! No questions asked or answers given!! Have I made myself clear Mr Morecambe......do you understand ?!!"

    I nodded politely and walked away ...

    Later on, I heard these loud screams. I looked up, and saw the Police Officer running for his life, being chased by my Prize Bull......

    Big Bill as I called my Bull, was gaining ground on the Officer, and I knew it he'd sure enough get trambled on before he reached safety. The officer was terrified and so I quickly ran to the fence and shouted .....

    "Your badge, show him your BADGE........ ! !"
    This is awesome! LMFAO!
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  3. 23-09-2011, 11:20 AM #643
    Eric Morecambe
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    Just received some bad news .. A mate of mine killed himself by diving headfirst down a manhole ..

    I always knew he was sewercidal !! ...
    "He値l never sell any ice cream going at that speed"
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  4. 23-09-2011, 11:30 AM #644
    Eric Morecambe
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    Ernie's got a new job at the Apiary ...

    He said to me "Eric, there's a right buzz about the place .."
    "He値l never sell any ice cream going at that speed"
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  5. 24-09-2011, 11:09 AM #645
    R.T.G.W
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    When Chuck Norris sneezes he creates the 0.1% of bacteria dettol can't kill!
    the bullshit stops when the cage door locks!!!
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  6. 24-09-2011, 05:48 PM #646
    ShaolinSubz02
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    Quote Originally Posted by R.T.G.W View Post
    When Chuck Norris sneezes he creates the 0.1% of bacteria dettol can't kill!
    LOL - not bad not bad...
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  7. 24-09-2011, 06:22 PM #647
    Daniel Churnside
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    Chuck Norris can tear a page out of Facebook
    No Pressure, No Diamonds.
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  8. 26-09-2011, 02:54 PM #648
    Eric Morecambe
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    I love it when the wife puts on her "Nurses Uniform ..."

    It means the cows going to work !!
    "He値l never sell any ice cream going at that speed"
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  9. 26-09-2011, 04:14 PM #649
    Eric Morecambe
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    I've just ordered the personal number plate BAA B88 ..

    Its going look great on my Black Jeep ..
    "He値l never sell any ice cream going at that speed"
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  10. 27-09-2011, 11:04 AM #650
    Eric Morecambe
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    The Postman was greeted by Ernie & myself and a huge dog, the other day. Postman said "Does your dog bite Eric?"
    "No," I replied
    The huge dog bit the Postman. The man yelled, "I thought your dog doesn't bite!"
    "He doesn't," I said, "That's not my dog!"

    "He値l never sell any ice cream going at that speed"
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