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  1. #81
    The King of Crase DanCrase's Avatar
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    Paddy and Murphy are in the pub one night, when Paddy turns to Murphy and asks why everyone keeps giving him sly grins when they look at him

    "Well, Paddy, it's because of this. Last night, as we were all walking home from work; we looked in your front window and saw you banging the arse off your wife. We stood there for 10 minutes and saw the whole thing; everyone did."

    Paddy, upon hearing this; bursts out laughing

    "What are you laughing at?" Murphy asks "You've become a laughing stock because of this!"

    "Oh, Murphy..." Paddy begins, struggling to hold back the laughter "The jokes on you! I wasn't even home last night!!"

  2. #82

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    Superman is flying around trying to get his mates to go out on the drink for his birthday, he knows times are hard but is sure his pals wont let him down... ' I'll try spidey first he's always good craic on a night out ' so off he goes to Pete Parkers house.

    ' Now Pete, ya out for me birthday tonight or what ' ?
    ' Skint mate and Mary Janes been going mad cos I bought a new camera today with me wages '
    ' Fuckin hell no probs pal I'll try someone else, laters '

    ' Someone must be up for a night out, I'll try Iceman ! '

    Knock knock

    ' Now Bobby, any chance of a night out for me birthday tonight pal ' ?
    ' Ah fuckin hell mate I've just spent up there paid for me gas and electric it's fuckin freezin in here and ya know how hard it is for me to keep warm '
    ' Oh for fucks sake I cant go out on me todd, ok mate see ya soon '

    Desperate, Clarke decides to ask wonder woman, he knows she's a right slag and will probably get a quick fuck at the end of the night as well....bonus !

    As he's flying past her house he uses his xray vision and sees her laid on the bed naked and gyrating. ' Fuckin hell the dirty bitch, I might as well use my super speed, fly in and bang her and be out in a flash before she even knows I've been in....fuck it here goes....swoosh !!!!!

    Wonderwoman - ' What the fuck was that ' ????

    The invisible man - ' I dunno but my arse is fucking killing me ' !!!!

  3. #83

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    Quote Originally Posted by Grake View Post
    nearly had my head kicked in for telling a downs syndrome one before.
    mate u know u gotta tell this joke now.

  4. #84
    Ever so slightly mental illegalhunter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nenki View Post
    mate u know u gotta tell this joke now.
    hell tell the joke.
    They guy who invented Burpees , is a secret child molester

  5. #85

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    My wife just found out that she was adopted. She was devastated and kept asking me "Why did'nt they want me?"
    I took her in my arms & comforted her. After a while, still crying, she kissed me & asked me to make love to her. This led to more tears.

    On reflection, banging her up the arse & shouting "WHO'S YOUR DADDY" halfway through was a little insensitive I guess.
    "He’ll never sell any ice cream going at that speed"

  6. #86
    Senior Member IceKid's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ShaolinSubz02 View Post
    thanks man, I will spit down on you from my priviledged perch

    Why you getting so touchy anyhow? Its a personal taste
    how many babies does it take to paint a house?

    depends how hard you throw them.

    (just for you, and they arent dead in this one, they are in the process)
    "My whole life is an epic journey man, I mean who else do you know that listens to Enya whilst taking a dump?"

  7. #87
    Senior Member Luke's Avatar
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  8. #88
    Senior Member Luke's Avatar
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  9. #89
    The King of Crase DanCrase's Avatar
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  10. #90
    Senior Member Luke's Avatar
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    http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/80838113/

    4chan trolls radio host and goes nuts.

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