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Thread: You know you are MMA obsessive when...

  1. #1
    Jaded Insider
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    Default You know you are MMA obsessive when...

    1. When you refer to the missionary sex position as THE GUARD.
    2. When you're having sex doggystyle you sink your hooks in and go for the rear naked choke.
    3. Everywhere you go you size up the people who fit into your weightclass.
    4. When you tape your fists for a street fight.
    5. When you go for an armbar in a bar room rumble.
    6. When you think MMA should be an Olympic sport.
    7. When you get pissed because Eurosport covers tennis and baseball over MMA.
    8. When you work out to the UFC theme song, Face the Pain by Stemm.
    9. When you feel like bimp slappin (yes I said bimp, it's a bitch slap, pimp slap combo) somebody when your watching a fight and someone says I would've done this, that, and this. (If you've never been in an MMA match, you should keep your mouth shut.)
    10. When you think the greatest TV show in history was The Ultimate Fighter on Spike TV.
    11. When you laugh at the people who still practice traditonal martial arts (Karate, Taekwondo, etc) and think that bullshit really works.
    12. When you think black eyes, busted lips, and cauliflower ear is trendy and just looks cool.
    13. After a fight you hug and shake your opponents hand and thank him for the ass whoopin.
    14. When Fight Club is your favorite movie.
    15. When you're constantly looking for someone to test out your new submission on.
    16. When you drink like a stallion but don't smoke or do drugs.
    17. When you think two guys rolling around in a cage half naked is so not gay.
    18. When you think the people who hate on MMA are really just mad because they can't fight!
    19. When you win a majority of your street fights with ground and pound.
    20. When you feel empty while watching an kickboxing/boxing match.
    21. When you're in the waiting room to see your Doctor you wont move from your seat when your name is called until you're entrance tune starts playing :-)

  2. #2

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    22. When you spend hours of your day on CW forum!!!

  3. #3

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    Reminds me of this:

    Below is a list of pros and cons of dating these athletes. It is a list coming from a girl who has only ever been involved with fighters; my list is obviously MY list… it would vary from relationship to relationship, experience to experience. And of course, some of these points work outside of the fighter status as well, but for now, with the amount of coffee I have had this morning, this is all I have. Enjoy.


    CON: Being a Fighter isn’t a career that is really long term and stable... when you can’t fight anymore, please tell me you have a back up plan.

    PRO: Ladies, you don’t ever have to take shit from random dudes again. “Lay off buddy, or my boyfriend will beat your Ed Hardy ass into the ground.” I’ve never used that line. Okay, I have. And it was awesome.


    CON: Most fighters usually struggle financially.

    PRO: Most fighters have slamming bodies. Who needs money?


    CON: Fighters are constantly battling injuries, aches, pains and tired bodies…

    PRO: They have injuries… time to play NURSE. Woo!


    CON: Fighters are usually training multiple times a day, and at hours when you would like to hang out with them.

    PRO: They train multiple times a day, which just so happens to allow you alone time! Oh… is this just a pro to me? Whatever, I dig solo time. Please go to the gym, boyfriend, give me a few hours to myself.


    CON: Fighters can have super amounts of testosterone. Hello jealousy, and aggression…

    PRO: They can have super amounts of testosterone. Yes, this is a pro for me. I don’t know about you girls, but I love a little jealousy from my man. Keeps things fresh! Plus, angry/make up sex is always fun. (No mom, you didn’t just read that.)


    CON: Every dude and their dog try to be friends with him. For some reason, fighters are mini celebrities.

    PRO: They keep pretty respectable and clean diets. Thank gawd.


    CON: Consider this: you will be messing around, totally in the heated moment, and out of nowhere, they will put you in weird submission, that is not only hard to get out of, but will be somewhat painful, not to mention a total mood killer.

    PRO: You will learn to defend these weird submissions and possibly catch him in a few of your own.


    CON: Fighters usually care more about their career than you.

    PRO: They tend to have insane amounts of loyalty to those they love, when they want to give it… ie, to their team. There is no backstabbing, cheating or lying to get ahead in their career. The bromance between teammates is a really cool bond to witness.


    CON: Cutting weight, pressure to perform, Internet warriors, ups and downs of good/bad training sessions… oh my god, it can be a rollercoaster of emotions.

    PRO: As a girlfriend, you don’t have to buy tickets to go the events they are fighting in; most of the time they can just give away a ticket to you for free. Woo, more money for booze!! I mean… um… shoes...


    CON: For some reason, there are a lot of slutty woman out there who have ‘interests’ in professional athletes. And guess what? Most of the time, these crazies don’t take interest in the fact that you may be their girlfriend.

    PRO: It’s a pretty cool rush to feel when your man steps in the cage to go to battle. I usually pretend the two of them are fighting over me, and that I am like the Spartan Queen, and my man is off in war. Ha! Surprised that I am single? Haha… yeah, I’m not. I can be such a geek.
    From: http://blog.erinmcdougall.com/2010/0...a-fighter.aspx

    QFT:
    They tend to have insane amounts of loyalty to those they love, when they want to give it… ie, to their team. There is no backstabbing, cheating or lying to get ahead in their career. The bromance between teammates is a really cool bond to witness.
    Coffee drinker, prefer Pepsi and I'm kind of a big deal.

  4. #4
    Jaded Insider
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    Quote Originally Posted by scrappymma View Post
    22. When you spend hours of your day on CW forum!!!
    and that is the truth!

  5. #5

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    23: When you shadow box in lifts
    Team Rough House - UKs no1 fight team

  6. #6
    Senior Member PhilYHC's Avatar
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    24: when you post your feet and shrimp to roll over in bed
    The streets are alive with the sounds of pain...EARN YOUR F***ING SCARS, SON!

  7. #7
    Pro Fighter
    Allan "No" Love
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    Quote Originally Posted by Predator View Post
    23: When you shadow box in lifts
    If there's a mirror and no one to judge it's pretty much mandatory to shadow a bit.

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by PhilYHC View Post
    24: when you post your feet and shrimp to roll over in bed
    lol,

    I dont do that, But i sometimes Hip heist without realising it
    Team Rough House - UKs no1 fight team

  9. #9
    settings/edit profile Jimmy Boogaloo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Predator View Post
    23: When you shadow box in lifts
    ha! guilty as charged. the people receiving dental treatment in the building next door face the glass lift that i shadow box in - i see it as my duty to try and entertain them to certain degree.
    'I'm not saying I couldn't find a few minutes a day to read a forum, but somehow I've managed to make it through these past few years without being called a faggot on a daily basis.'

  10. #10

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    CON: Consider this: you will be messing around, totally in the heated moment, and out of nowhere, they will put you in weird submission, that is not only hard to get out of, but will be somewhat painful, not to mention a total mood killer.

    PRO: You will learn to defend these weird submissions and possibly catch him in a few of your own.

    I lol'd hard. Good post tho!
    This is not a gif. It is an actual video of Fedor doing infinate press ups.
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