This man is trying to kill me.

[Hywel Teague]

he is obviously taking the piss

tell him to shape up or ship out

[Godders]

Simple, next time you find gas on.

Remove all your cool stuff from house.
Get super dooper insurance policy
Go visit relatives for a week.

Claim insurance, bury remains and move cool stuff to new bigger house bought with insurance money.

[Wiegieboard]

Solution.
If the guy is called Ross McCrae, tell him to get his arse back up to scotland and organise our gig pronto!

[Smith]

start buying baby stuff, then tell him you think it's time that, since you're living together, you took the relationship to the next level...

[Smith]

does it matter what way? ask him to father your children, and you'll freak him out. obviously, refuse sex, saying that you'd prefer it if he jerked off into a turkey baster...