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Thread: What is the most annoying thing noobies say?

  1. #21
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    Paul Jenkins
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    Back on track with - Turn up at session 1 with 'I'm a grappler...' or 'I'm a striker...' even though they've done neither before but just identify with their favourite fighter or having done their homework before hand and pick a marque fighter with a similar physique.

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  2. #22
    Senior Member Mattchoo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by staffie View Post
    A kid turned up for his first class with "Cage Fighter" tattoo'd on his forearm and "MMA" tattoo'd on his neck. he'd never trained before!

    Has since moved to another local club because his mum said I was too strict with him (He's 18). He has also got the same tattoo as Brock Lesnar on his back.

    I kinda miss the mongo.
    Oh wow, now that is one special individual. You just know he looks just like his uncle & his mother.


    My personal favourite is the total meatheads in a gym using the punchbag on an open mat session or something. The type of guy who has no neck, his head is seemingly formed as part of his upperbody, they are usually shortarses and have bald heads. Them guys always seem to throw some wild frenzy of straights from 6inches away from the bag with crisscrossed arms, throw a 'roundhouse' that resembles an overshot kick to the nuts and stretch their chest out. Proceed to do this for 10minutes and give it the madeye like they are the baddest man on the planet.
    Ninja

  3. #23
    The most hated Gaijin of all
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mattchoo View Post
    Oh wow, now that is one special individual. You just know he looks just like his uncle & his mother.


    My personal favourite is the total meatheads in a gym using the punchbag on an open mat session or something. The type of guy who has no neck, his head is seemingly formed as part of his upperbody, they are usually shortarses and have bald heads. Them guys always seem to throw some wild frenzy of straights from 6inches away from the bag with crisscrossed arms, throw a 'roundhouse' that resembles an overshot kick to the nuts and stretch their chest out. Proceed to do this for 10minutes and give it the madeye like they are the baddest man on the planet.
    In Scotland we call that "Throwing a maddie."

  4. #24
    Senior Member Stef's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BakedBean View Post
    "In Wing Chun we do it like this"
    Hahahaha. As much as my BJJ instructor (in Johnstone) is awesome, he talks about all these crazy moves from various martial arts, none of which really mean anything to me.
    He teaches the right stuff for BJJ, but insists on explaining their judo (or whatever martial art it comes from) names. Then the following week when he asks if I remember how to do a "harai goshi", I always say "nope."
    "Oh you mean that turny, trippy, throwy thingy, aye ... here."

    He's not a newbie of course, but your post made me LOL and think of him.
    Twitter @steflachMMA. Herald Sport www.heraldscotland.com/sport

  5. #25
    The most hated Gaijin of all
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stef View Post
    Hahahaha. As much as my BJJ instructor (in Johnstone) is awesome, he talks about all these crazy moves from various martial arts, none of which really mean anything to me.
    He teaches the right stuff for BJJ, but insists on explaining their judo (or whatever martial art it comes from) names. Then the following week when he asks if I remember how to do a "harai goshi", I always say "nope."
    "Oh you mean that turny, trippy, throwy thingy, aye ... here."

    He's not a newbie of course, but your post made me LOL and think of him.
    Is that the Henis?

  6. #26

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    not so much a noobie but we use a gym for our sparring sessions for free and the guy who owns it is a proper traditional martial artist into death touches , chi power and all that.
    he said that we MMA lads could be stopped by pressure point attacks. Raising our eyebrows (picture the rock on three lads all listening to this) i sad i'd be the guinea pig.
    so we start and the lad starts flinging his arms about like an epileptic on wizz moving in patterns only he can see then leaps at me. his fingers hit my ribs while my overhand right connected clean on his jaw. he spun around on the spot before falling to the floor unconscious.
    feeling guilty we put him in the recovery position until he woke up. though it has been a month since that happened so i now find myself dead as i write this so it must have worked lol

  7. #27

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    best thing i've ever heard a newbie say was "I'm the new wrestling coach and I've tapped out GSP" I'm sure he's in the jail now

  8. #28
    Dinky Ninja
    Paul McVeigh
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    Henis Mulholland is my Homeboy.
    MMA Strength, Conditioning and Awesomeness Blog- UPDATED 8/2/11 Random Musings prior to actual content http://maccavelli.wordpress.com/

  9. #29
    Senior Member Stef's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mainsy View Post
    Is that the Henis?
    dude's name is Denis, is Henis a nickname or something? Give me info to slag him :-)
    Twitter @steflachMMA. Herald Sport www.heraldscotland.com/sport

  10. #30
    Dinky Ninja
    Paul McVeigh
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    Yeah back in the day. We all trained together in Johnstone, Me Gazz, Doug Macmaster, Scott McVeigh. Being on a mad brazilian tip it was customary to place the H at the start of the name whenever it sounded right.

    Henis had the best one, followed by Hennycott and Hug Macmaster

    It didnt work with me and scotty.
    MMA Strength, Conditioning and Awesomeness Blog- UPDATED 8/2/11 Random Musings prior to actual content http://maccavelli.wordpress.com/

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