I had the most amazing conversation last night.....
Guys, this is going to be a fairly long post and I know that we have all experienced something like this and that it is easy to fabricate such things but please, I assure you, this is the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
Let me set the scene: It's 22:15, it's raining, I'm stood on the door of my venue with my colleague in a rather moody town centre. We are having a chat about freestyle wrestling as both myself and my colleague have an interest in the sport, having both trained in MMA for years and both having competition experience. We are having a laugh, talking about how some of the beasts from the Birmingham and Wolverhampton Wrestling Clubs have smashed us in training in the past and over walks THAT guy; Rain soaked eyebrow piercing glistening in the Yates's door sign lighting, smoking a 'rolly'.
STRANGER: ''Fuck that wrestling stuff lads, you wanna do what I do!"
ME: ''What's that then mate?''
STRANGER: ''I work in an Octagon''
ME: *KERCHING!* ''What's that mate?''
ME: ''What's that mate?''
STRANGER: ''I'm the Worcestershire 68kg or 9stones depends how you like to work it out, UFC champion, 15-2''
ME: ''Is that the cage fighting stuff?!''
STRANGER: ''Yes mate, it's no joke so don't try and be sarcastic''
ME: ''Sorry mate, just intrigued that's all, is there any rules? heard it can be quite rough?''
STRANGER: ''Well, there is a couple, I got deducted 10 points last night because I Nakamura Armbarred someone in the neck because he tried to cage me, they call it caging when we push em against the cage, the ref thought I was being a bit too over the top so yeah, took 10 points off me!''
ME: ''Fucking hell geeza, bet you nearly killed him didn't you?!''
STRANGER: ''Yeah mate, I don't fuck about, lost my first two fights for being too relaxed so now I just go for the kill, you only get 3.5 minutes a round in the UFC so it's not a long time really''.
ME: ''Mate, you look lethal, you ain't gonna cause no trouble in here tonight are ya?!''
STRANGER: ''No mate don't worry, I wouldn't risk my UFC license beating up two doormen, it's not worth it, anyway, the police would have to come mob handed because technically I am using deadly weapons (shows me his fists)''.
ME: ''Thanks mate, I don't fancy getting Nakamura Armbarred in my neck in front of the regulars, you would make me look a right mug!''.
STRANGER: ''Don't worry mate, honestly, we ain't all thugs like you read about, anyway, if you want to train with me one day just get my number when I leave tonight, we could do with someone your size in the gym, we haven't got many high middle welters to train with''.
ME: ''Fuck that mate, what do you take me for?! A psychopath?!''.
STRANGER: ''Mate, honestly, stop worrying, I can't risk my career street fighting!''.
Over walks one of our regulars, in his 60s, one of the old faces, only got one ear, the other one got bit off, he has cauliflower fists nevermind ears.
REGULAR: ''Oi dickhead! what you talking bollocks for? I settle my business on the streets, one to one, Queensbury rules, you reckon you could handle that? let's do it now, I could have made some right money out of you in prison princess''.
STRANGER: ''I don't do streetfights'' (crawls up himself and dies whilst me and my buddy cry in laughter, poor bastard).
Amazing, I wish I could have recorded it for proof. I genuinely believed I was being set up by a mate. It was too perfect!
The poster formally known as Steve_Langford.